Memoirs of the Night

Farewell

You were always a part of me
So when I lost you, I also lost a piece of me
Maybe I have done something wrong—
That made you upset for so long
Forgive me for what I have done
I must've unconsciously pulled the trigger of the gun

Countless nights I have wondered
Why our friendship fell under
Countless nights I have cried
Wanting to fix what we had—don't tell me I haven't tried
Countless nights I've died—my heart no longer beats
Countless nights I've been pushed at the edge of my sanity
Yet you never knew my side of the story
You never knew how I physically and emotionally tortured myself
Blaming myself over and over again
Questioning my very existence

They told me it's time to let go
But whenever I closed my eyes I could remember the memories we had; all the moments we spent
And how you stayed beside me at the darkest days of my life

I find it unbearable to let go
I'm constantly torn between holding on and letting go
It's not easy to be hated by the person who I once loved
And I certainly didn't expect we would end up like this

I still consider you as my friend
And you will always be my friend
Thank you for helping me get through the pebbles down the stream
And I'm beyond grateful that you helped me realized my dream

But at this point in life, I can no longer pretend;
I'm surrounded by sorrow and confusion
And I had no choice but to let you go

This is the only way I can make amends
I hope this will reach you in the end
I have to make peace with myself

So to my book best friend,
To the friend who became my light,
And to the friend I lost,
I finally bid farewell