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There are whirlwinds all around me.
In the subdued whispers of passed on folklore, in the legends of jinns and ghosts, in the euphoria of love, in the nostalgia of a past life, in the wonders of a world which...
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Maybe I've been doing just fine, Pacing back and forth but I'm not far behind, Reaching at every finish lines but I know no one's waiting for me so I can cross my time. Maybe I've been holding back, From all the love that I think I lack, And maybe it's just not all like that; I build my walls up so high because sometimes I think that I'll keep you from the sky.
And I don't want to be the reason for anything at all like that.
I guess I went wrong somewhere : I was climbing up the steps of a staircase that never ends, I was reaching for a cloud that wasn't around, I was looking for a love that wasn't allowed, I was mistaking a smile for a dismal frown, I was deep in the woods and I knew I would never be found.
I've never been too good with crowds, As I'm standing here and talking about all the things that I've been through— it's a little colder than the last shade of blue.
I stutter my first word and they already know I'm not worthy of being heard, I take a deep breath and every ear was on my trail, I told them all about the times I've failed, all the times I've given up, all the times I've tested my luck and all those times I've thought I wasn't good enough.
I've always been so afraid of opening up but here I was, narrating every piece of my life as if it's a story that I have always loved.
And maybe, I'll be doing just fine, Pacing back and forth but I won't be far behind, I'll reach every finish line and it wouldn't matter that no one's waiting this time, And maybe, one day, I won't be holding back, From all the love that I think I lack.
One day, it could be all like that— Like purple skies and dances in the rain, Like slowing time and slowly going insane, Like midnight adventures and finding silly things to laugh at, maybe one day, it'll be all like that.
—
a/n : I was laying on my bed when suddenly this muse comes to me, like a song or a tune that I just knew how to sing and that's how this poem came about. I usually write about/for other people or make an imaginary tale but I feel like this poem is me. It's just all like that.
(The song I've added is one very close to me; do listen to it if you want).
