Jamanchu (ongoing)

WHENEVER

Jan 12, 2020
LMH Apartment
12.00pm

LMH and KGE stood face to face when their eyes were locked on each other's. She waited for his answer. She demanded it. Although she was too worried now for whatever answer he might given her.
She had to know.
Now.

LMH said,
"I plan to.." he paused.

KGE held her breath. This expectation was killing her. She didn't blink though. As he continued saying,

"I plan to marry you one day."

Silence

It was almost unreal when her ears clearly heard LMH's answer for 'the rings'. He said it firmly and utterly confident. His eyes were so sharp and sent her the warmest unidentified feeling right to her heart.

As strange as the feeling was, it definitely triggered something hidden underneath in the core of her heart to rose up. The feeling was strange yet too familiar to her. She couldn't definitely decide what it was. But this unfamiliar feeling was too strong that she couldn't fight the tears from falling.

"I plan to marry you one day."

That was all she heard over and over again in her head now. Her mind was buzzing when her heart was thumping so hard.

She stunned.
As tears ran down her face, a memory came to her mind abruptly.
A memory she had this morning.
When they had their breakfast right before they were drowned into another sweet and beautiful love making.

He said...
..
"I want to be your man, Kim Go-Eun... The last man you love... Under God's will."
..

Silence

"Baby..." he just stood there without blinking either. He might have been feeling strange too. He just stared at her from where he stood looking so confused and worried.

KGE couldn't stop her weep although her blurry eyes were looking into LMH's eyes straightly. They just stood there face to face without a word for a while.

Imino...
I don't know what to say now
I don't know how I really feel
It's too much for my heart right now
Imino...
I don't dare to think of it
I don't even dream of it
I don't let my self to want it
I don't allow my self to hope for it
I don't see that I deserve it
I don't know how to explain it
But this is...
You plan it...
Maybe you planned it.
You have planned it..
You do everything that I don't...
How should I respond?
How can I say?
How will I do?

She was feeling so down and hated herself when she finally heard him saying,

"Don't worry about it, baby. You asked, I answered. That's all. So, I want you to just relax. What I just said was true. But you don't need to feel obligated to agree with it. So, please forgive me and just forget it." LMH's eyes were so dark and they seemed to lost something.

"GoEun-nie.. I don't want to lie about anything to you. I did and I do plan it. But that's just me." He was so calm and looked so eased when he talked. His eyes were getting darker with emotion that KGE couldn't read what was as he continued saying,

"Nothing is changed. We're still the same couple who just made love this morning. No pressure. And please stop crying... Again.. I'm sorry if I have made you feel upset... I..." he choked as if he was about to cry.

"I will take things slow, as I have promised you. That's why I never brought up this matter on the table anyway. Because I know you need time... I need time... We need time.." he let out the heaviness in his heart by spilling out all the thoughts and the feelings within him.