~if only~ pt.1

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do you remember when you 'dated' pansy ? it was so long ago , but i remember it so well . we were only on a break . just a break . that's what i kept telling myself . until you walked in with her . holding hands . .

*FLASHBACK*

"we're only on a break ron, we aren't broken up ." you told ron as he stared at the great hall doorway .

"uh . . i don't think malfoy got the memo ," harry said pointing to draco and pansy walking into the great hall . you felt tears prick your eyes . his hair was messed up along with his tie . he never wore his tie that way . you knew draco was one for an impression . and that he got out of you .

"y/n are you okay ?" hermione said touching your shoulder . "it's not that serious you don't have to cry ," she tried reassuring . you looked over to see fred looking at you sadly . he then came over to you holding out his hand for you to hold .

"walk confidently, don't let malfoy see he hurt you . okay ?" he whispered into your ear as you stood up holding his hand . you did as you were told . walking out confidently . you felt eyes staring at you . you looked over to see cedric smiling . you smiled back . a genuine smile .

*END OF FLASHBACK*

you stood in the hallway trying to catch your breath . "we could've been caught you lunatics !" you whisper-yelled at fred and george .

"but we didn't ," fred said high-fiving george . "that was bloody brilliant ," he said . you guys walked down the silent hallway together trying to be as quiet as possible .

"y/n ?" a familiar voice said . harry . you searched around looking for him until he pulled you away from fred and george .

"um .?" you said while being pulled into a dark room . "harry what is going on ?" the lights suddenly turned on revealing more people in the room . draco , hermione , ron and blaise all stood in the dark outskirts of the room .

"we all have to explain ," ron started . you were confused . genuinely confused . you slightly nodded your head . "weforcedmalfoytobreakupwithyou" ron said in one word .

"w-what ," you stuttered . you knew what he said . he forced malfoy to break up with you . ron looked at you sympathetically . you didn't want sympathy . and you DIDNT have sympathy for him . then hermione walked out of the shadows .

"we had to ," she spoke clearly . you shook your head . "you were only going to get hurt ." you were slightly shaking your head still . he wasn't . he wouldn't have .

"why ," you said looking down , "why would you do this , why is blaise here ?" everyone stared at him .

"i just wanted to be here for draco ," he said . a slight weight lifted off your shoulders . you were glad he wasn't apart of this .

"we never thought it would-" harry started , "thought it would affect you this much , we just wanted what was best for you ." he finished . you wanted to yell . what did harry know . what did any of them know . ron grabbed your hand . you weren't strong enough to pull away . until you saw draco start to cry . you didn't like seeing him cry . ever . even when he had broke your heart , you still wanted to comfort him . you pulled your hand away from ron's and sprinted over to draco , wiping his tears off his face .

"i should've been there for you ," he said shaking his head . "i shouldn't have let them get to me ," you took his hand as he said it .

"you do realize he's a deatheater ," hermione said . you turned your head back to look at her .

"going to be ," ron corrected her "still bad though y/n" you didn't even care he was a deatheater . you knew draco , you knew he wouldn't hurt anyone . you knew he didn't want to do that .

"i don't care !" you protested , "i'll become one myself if i have to !" you yelled . your words echoed in the silent room . no one made a sound .

"you . . you wouldn't , you don't mean that ," he said . you knew he wanted you to say he was right , and you didn't actually mean it . but you did .

"yes i do harry !" you shot back , "draco is my everything , my universe , my world . i'd do anything for him ," you finished . both ron and hermione looked at you- glared at you really .

"do you know what they call people like me ?!" hermione yelled . you just put your head down . they were manipulating . you didn't even want this friendship to last anymore . "mudbloods !" she harshly yelled at you .

"yeah well guess what ? i don't care !" you shot back . hermione scoffed at you .

"this is what we mean ," harry said , "he's making you a bad person , you can't get back together with him ." he said looking away from you . not baring to look at you . were they serious . was this not one big dream ?

if only . .

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