a very lengthy history

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1.

before the nightmares invaded my head upon your arrival
events went by without much thought, contempt never lived in my brain
granted, i was alone, and not bound to someone
i didn't want to be tied down, and i said that, but
never listen to him, that's what your brain told you
never consider that he's another human, that's what it said
if i wanted to, i would have left already, but who thinks i have a choice?
nope, i wish i did, and i convince myself i do, but then it all crashes to the
ground, the satellite burns in orbit, and hurtles down to earth at max speeds

2.

morning
i didn't hear any excitement in your voice
dread fills my chest each time i awake, my bad
don't speak to me with that tone, be cheerful
let me die quickly and painlessly
end your complaints, we ain't ending things tonight

3.

eternity seems better without her
nobody belongs with me yet
don't believe i'm healed when i'm not

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