this fantastical world is too surreal (poetry #5)

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Don't fetishize your own sadness.

I can't help it.

You can help it, you just decide not to.

What do I do?

I don't know. I'm not the one who can answer that.

Then who can?

I don't know. I told you that.

You're not much help.

I never said I was.

You still should be helping me.

You can't help yourself.

I try my best.

You're too scared to speak.

It's because of trauma.

But you can get over it.

How do I do that?

I don't know.

I wish you would say something else.

I wish you would, too. I'm tired of being the only one speaking.

You're not.

It feels like it.

I just can't get out my words.

Then start trying. 

I can't when you keep going and going.

Why not?

I don't have anywhere I feel I can interject.

You do.

I don't see that.

Well, you do. You need to stand up for yourself.

How do I do that?

I don't know.

You know nothing.

And neither do you.

At least I'm trying to know things.

You're trying to know the wrong things.

And which are the right things?

I don't know.

Thanks for your help.

No problem.

There is a problem.

But I can't solve it for you.

Why can't you?

I don't know. I only know that I can't.

Then there has to be a why.

There doesn't have to be a why.

Everything has meaning.

Or nothing can have meaning.

The universe doesn't exist for no reason.

Yes it does.

How does it exist for no reason?

I don't know. It just does.

Then does that mean I exist for no reason?

I don't know.

You don't know anything.

I know that you aren't who you're supposed to be.

And who is that? 

I don't know. Stop asking so many questions.

But there are so many questions that need to be asked.

Questions are needed only once in a while.

Why?

I don't know.