Friends or Lovers

Tears pt.1

RECAP: "Well I see that you woke up fast than expected, how are you feeling?"

"Uhm, I feel fine, but it hurts to move at all"

"Oh yes you will be in pain for a few weeks but once you are all healed up you shouldn't feel a thing, okay so I come bearing good news and very bad news, which would you like to hear first?"

"Uhm can I hear the good news first?"

"Very well, alright well we were successful in removing the bullet's, luckily they did not penetrate bone, that is a very good sign, now onto the bad news, although we were lucky to remove the bullets, the bullet that went into your lower abdomen, well we were unable to save your baby"

My WHAT!

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"M-my baby?"

"Yes your baby, based on your reaction I think it's safe to say that you did not know about it, I'll leave you to discuss this with your family"

You look up to see Morgan and Hotch surprised, you look back down and you can feel your eyes start to tear up, how could you lose something you never knew you had, you never had any morning sickness, but many women don't get that, how could you know...

Derek squeezes your hand and says
"Y/N I am so sorry, I-I should've been the one that had gotten shot, not you, I should've searched the house before letting you out, a-and now you lost your baby"

You squeeze his hand back and say,
"Morgan, hey it's okay, I am responsible for my own decisions okay, don't blame yourself please"
Hotch looks down at you and says,

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say, I'm speechless, I'm sorry this had to happen to you, if I had known you were pregnant I never would've put you in harms way-"

"Hotch, it's okay, I didn't even know I was pregnant, it's okay really"

You all stand in silence, unsure of what to say,

"Hey guys Uhm please don't say anything about it to the team, I'll tell them on my own"

They both shook their heads letting you know that they'd keep their promise,

"C-can I have a moment alone, please"
They both begin to walk out and as soon as they closed the door, tears start to overflow, how could it hurt so bad, losing someone that was growing inside of you, someone you never knew was even there, shit what were you going to tell Spencer, does he need to know? He has to know right? No no this can't be happening, you can't deal with any of this...
You quickly fell back asleep, when you woke up again it was around 2 pm, nobody was in the room besides you and

Spencer...

He seemed to be reading a book, you really didn't feel like talking to him right now,

"I see that you're awake..."
You acted like you were asleep, just in case,

"I saw you open your eyes Y/N, I know you're awake"

"What do you want, Reid"

"I don't want anything Y/N"

"Okay then you can leave, thanks for staying here"

"Are you serious Y/N, I'm here because the rest of the team had a case, I need to take care of you"

"No Reid, you don't need, to take care of me, if you have someplace to be or where you'd rather spend your time, please be my guest"