Make Them Burn

Sympathy

CHAPTER 13: SYMPATHY

But not everything was perfect. Peeta had tried to kill Everdeen when he saw her, and Johanna was not healing well.

On the bright side, Chase and I are "dating" or however you consider it at the moment, Lilyanna is healing very nicely, Finnick and Annie are hopelessly in love, and Corie and I made up.

***

The hospital is alert and alive when I make my way to Johanna's room. She's not awake yet.

I then proceed to do what I do every morning, afternoon, and night. I sit by Johanna's bedside, and apologize to her for everything I've ever said, thought, or did to her.

"Hey Jo." I say. "It's me, again. Let's get down to business, I guess. I'm sorry about calling you heartless, and being mad at you for killing Cashmere. You were trying to protect Everdeen. Sure, you probably should've done something different, but you didn't. I'm sorry I yelled at you in the Games. I'm sorry I let you get captured without apologizing, and I'm sorry for what they did to you in the Capitol."

Silence. Like always.

Finally, a hoarse, scraggly voice speaks, "Thanks, Brainless."

I smile. She's awake! "How long have you been awake? Does your doctor know?"

Johanna heaves a few heavy sighs. "Well, I woke up this morning. But I think I was about to kill him. 'Of course, Johanna, there's nothing wrong with you'. What a complete idiot."

I offer a sad smile. "How do you feel?"

"How do you think I feel, Brainless?"

I roll my eyes. "Just trying to strike up a conversation."

We sit in silence for a bit, until she says, "Your kid was brave. She took her beatings, and even though she screamed, she didn't let them get to her."

I raise my eyebrows. Lilyanna had never offered to talk to me about the Capitol.

"When she wants to talk, she'll talk to you, Alex." Johanna says.

I nod and lean back, not convinced. My little girl should be coming to me for her problems! But she's not your little girl anymore, a voice in my head reminds me, she's a young woman now.

I look at the clock. 22:45. It's still bathing time. I'll need to leave Johanna if I'm not going to get caught.

"Jo, I'll let you sleep. If the doctor finds me-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Stupid rules." Johanna smirks. "Get outta here, Brainless."

I smirk. "Goodnight Jo."

"Oh, and Alex?"

I turn around.

"Bring Finnick up here to talk to me sometime." Johanna says. "I miss him."

I nod. "Will do."

***

That night, I toss and turn, unable to sleep. We've all moved Compartments, to where we're on he same floor, but Finnick and Annie are in their own room, and Lilyanna, and Chase have moved in with Haymitch and I.

Haymitch insisted on having his own room, so he couldn't get in the way of our family time, but I told him he could stay. After all, I do better with him here. Sometimes he knows what I'm going through more than Chase does.

Chase drapes an arm around me in our bed. They gave us each a separate one, but we prefer to sleep together. "Alex, what's wrong?"

I sigh. "Lilyanna." I whisper. "She hasn't come to me about the Capitol. Johanna reckons it'll be soon, but what if it's not? What if I'm not being a good mother?"