Anna

38

Gram wasn't getting any better but she put on a good positive attitude every morning. She'd have breakfast in the dining room with us. Then she'd watch some old shows on tv. Sometimes she'd sit outside on the glider with me.

Today though she seemed sad. She was sitting on the couch in the living room and staring out the window as it rained. It was just us because Macy had left for work hours ago, and I'd told Emilia not to come in today because I was worried about her driving in this terrible storm.

"What the matter Gram?" I asked her softly touching her shoulder.

She looked at me and sighed. "You broke up with him didn't you?"

I blinked a few times but nodded. "I did."

"Why?" Gram asked. "He made you the happiest I've ever seen you. I've never seen you smile like that. Not since we lost Paul."

My eyes teared up. "It's just not the right time Gram."

"Is this because of me Anna Maire?" She asked sounding upset. "You feel like you have to babysit me while I'm dying?"

"Gram!" I gasped. "This is not some burden to me. I love you!"

"I know you love me honey." Her hand cupped my cheek and wiped away a tear as it slipped from my eye. "What about you though?"

"What about me?" I asked. "I want to be here with you. I want these memories. Harry is in London. His plane left a few days ago. I can't stress myself out every day about what he's doing and be in the moment here with you. It's not fair to either of us. So, I set him free."

"Is that what he wanted?" She asked.

"It's what he deserved."

She sighed then coughed. Her whole body shook when she coughed. There was a wheezing coming from her chest and she gasped at the end of her cough. I bit my lip to keep from panicking and fawning over her. She hated being treated like a baby.

"Do you love him?" She asked.

I nodded. "I do."

"He loves you too, and it's silly to waste a love so young. That was my biggest mistake in life. I took my love for granted and I regret it every day." She gave me a sad smile. "Hugh was always so willing to sit at home and wait for me, and I just went out galivanting all over the world. I never realized what I was missing, and by the time I settled down our best years were gone. I should've been exploring the world with him. We should've been together more."

"Gram, it's different. I want to be here and Harry's career is just taking off. I'd hate myself for asking him to put that on hold for me." I said.

She had another coughing fit and then looked at me with tired eyes. "Anna Marie, you deserve all the happiness in the world. You shouldn't ever put that on hold. Not even for me."

I smiled sadly at her. "I love you Gram."

"I love you too." She sighed. "I just don't want you to regret missing out on things."

"I'll never regret spending time with you. No matter what it costs me." I kissed her hand and placed it back in her lap.

Gram looked outside then back at me. Her eyes were blank and the sparkle was gone. She stared at me a minute then shook her head.

"You're not my usual nurse." Her voice cracked.

I just smiled. "Emilia couldn't make it in because of the storm. I'll take good care of you though, I promise."

She smiled. "You remind me of my granddaughter. She's going to be a writer. She's a natural born story teller. The girls got a way with words. I hope she gets the best in life. If her parents had things their way she'd be tied to a desk working a corporate nine to five, but I know she's destined for better than that."

"She sounds lovely." I wiped my eyes.

"She is." Gram smiled then looked back out the window. "I should call her once the storm passes."

I choked back a sob. "I bet she'd love that."

After awhile Gram decided to take a nap. I helped her lay down, and headed to the kitchen to drown my sorrows in some banana ice cream. No sooner than I grabbed a spoon my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered with my mouth full.

"Anna Marie?" Macy asked. "Are you eating?"

"I am." I swallowed.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you not to turn on the radio to my station. We're playing Harry's new song Two Ghosts and I didn't want you to flood the streets with your tears." She said. "I still don't get why you did it, but its not really my place to I guess."

"Thanks for the heads up." I said.

"You know this one's about you too right?" She asked.

"I'm hanging up now." I said spooning more ice cream into my mouth. "Bye!"

"Bye." She laughed.

I sat my phone down on the counter and I heard a loud crash down the hall. I was on my feet in an instant. Gram was on the floor of her bedroom and she was shaking uncontrollably. Her whole body was quivering and she was moaning. I screamed but nothing came out.

I got my phone out and with shaking hands managed to call 9-1-1. The squad got there fast and Gram was still shaking. They called it a Grandma Seizure. They loaded her up and headed for the hospital. They offered for me to ride with them but I said I'd drive myself so I had a car there.

Still wearing my ugly micky mouse tshirt and boxer shorts, I stepped into white Vans at the door. Driving in the rain with wipers on high I grabbed my phone at the stop sign. Before I knew what I was doing Harry answered my call.

"Anna?" He sounded like I'd woken him up.

"Ha-arry," I hiccupped. "She's hav-ving a seizure. I-I don't k-know what, to do."

"Susie?" He asked sounding more awake. "Where are you? Did you call 9-1-1?"

"Dri-iving to the hospital. She's in th-he squad." I sobbed. "Whh-at if she,"

"Anna, I'll be there as soon as I can." He sounded like he was walking out a door.

"You're halfway around the world." I chuckled humorlessly. "I shouldn't have even called you."

"I'll see you soon Anna. Please drive carefully." He hung up.

I looked at the rain pouring around me. Carefully I drove the rest of the way to the hospital. Once I was parked I called Emilia and Macy. They both said they would meet me at the hospital.

Once I was inside the desk lady asked me to have a seat. I was sweating bullets. I remember when I had to get stitched up as a kid when Paul had tripped me and I'd cut my chin on the coffee table. He'd said if you're waiting in the hospital that means you're going to be just fine. I hope that was the case today.