Anna

45

Macy's POV

(Before the accident)

I slammed the shot of tequila down my throat letting it burn. All I do is fuck up. I'm just like my mother! I looked up and gestured for another shot. The bartender smiled and obliged. As I slammed it back I threw a twenty down as a tip.

"Rough night?" A strangers voice asked.

I shook me head standing on wobbly legs. "Rough life."

"Need a ride?" He asked.

I laughed. "I'm okay."

"You shouldn't drive drunk. You could get hurt." He said faking concern just like they all do.

"That's the idea."

"You could kill someone else!" He shouted as I exited the bar and headed for my car.

I grabbed my phone and my keys. I thought about Anna Marie but decided that the letter I left her would have to do as a goodbye. I knew if I called her she'd be able to talk me out of this.

Once I was in the car I started it and turned on the heater. Scrolling through my contacts I saw my parents number and shook my head. They didn't need me to call and tell them I lost my job, or that all the things in that letter were true. I was a fuck up and they already knew that. I shook my head and saw Mitch's name. I pressed call as I put the car in gear.

"Macy baby, it's late. Is everything okay?" Mitch yawned.

I saw that it was after two in the morning. "Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're a swell guy."

"Have you been drinking?" He asked. "You sounded absolutely hammered."

I giggled as I swerved my car back to my side of the road. "I love you're music Mitchell! You have a good heart and I'm no good for you."

"What are you talking about Macy?" He asked.

"I'll probably just be a memory soon enough, but I hope I'm a good one. It's not fair. I really liked you too I hoped that I would be good enough for you, but I just can't be." I knew I wasn't making any sense.

"Macy," Mitch sounded like he was pacing. "Let's talk-"

I cut him off. "Goodbye Mitchell!"

I hung up and tossed my phone in the backseat. Turning up the music I saw what I was looking for.

The bridge was over a river just like the one at home. It would be easier to do this time. It was out of the way and not often traveled. I'd be gone before they even knew I was missing.

I parked the car and got out locking my keys inside so I couldn't change my mind. This would fix everything. Anna Marie would be so much better off without my drama. All I had ever done was cause her trouble. Her parents were right about me.

I thought about high school as I walked to the middle of the bridge. Paul had died and no sooner than Anna Marie came home I had caused her drama. The guy, Wyatt, that I had been dating decided he liked her a lot more than he liked me. He was practically obsessed with her. He dumped me and I didn't want to say anything to Anna Marie because it was so embarrassing. Then I begged her to go to that stupid football game with me.

It was all my fault. We were at the game and she went to the bathroom while I was getting drinks. I heard some girls talking about it before I knew what really happened. Wyatt had gone into the bathroom behind her and he tried to rape her. He'd been awful and if I had just warned her, or if we hadn't been at the game, or if I had went with her, maybe it wouldn't have happened.

I didn't own up to it though, and I told her I had no idea. I lied to my best friend. It was all my fault he even knew who she was. I felt so guilty. When I tried to be honest though she didn't answer her phone. I drove to her house and her dad told me to get lost that she was at the library.

As I was heading that way I saw the bridge. It was the same bridge my mom had almost died on when she quit taking her crazy pills a few months ago. While Anna Marie was in California burring her brother my mom had went off the deep end. She'd tried to drive off it but she'd wrecked before she made it off the edge.

I'd gotten out of my car and climbed up on the rail. I just stood there a long time. I looked out over the water. As the rain poured around me I felt like there was a calmness settling over me. I put my arms out and started walking back and forth. I thought of my parents and how I would never make them proud like Anna Marie did her parents. I thought of all the mistakes I made. Anna Marie would excel without me holding her back. Sure she'd be sad, but she'd get over it. She was so resilient.

Then I saw the lights. As luck would have it that night it was Anna Marie coming home. Ryan Nash had given her a ride and when I jumped he yanked me back to the land. I had the courage to do it that night, and tonight I would too.

I looked at the river below as I climbed onto the railing of the bridge in present time. This time I would do everyone a favor. I would quit fucking up for good this time. No one would have to worry about me anymore.

The rain started to pour around me. I smiled at the irony in that. It had been raining last time too. Lights reflected of the water and I looked up in time to see Harry running toward me. He argued with me but I was set already. He wasn't changing my mind.

Then I heard Anna Marie. I tried to ignore her words but when she climbed out here with me I was losing steam fast. I tried to lash out and be mean, but it was short lived. Then I hear the pain in her voice. I could hear the squad.

She was my best friend and I was hurting her. This was ridiculous. I needed to help her, and to do that I had to be fucking alive. She needed me to be alive. I took her hand and we were getting down. Next thing I know my shoe slipped. I tried to let her go but she held on tighter and I screamed as we were free falling toward the water.

I couldn't even do this right, and now I was ruin that last bit of Anna Maire's life too. Looking up I saw red and blue lights. Harry was leaning over the railing as we fell. Anna Marie was ripped from my grasp and we hit the water.

Then everything went black...