ᴹʸ ˡᵒˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ*⁀➷수빈 ✔

{1}

Grasping onto my bag straps the sliding glass doors opened, I breathed and closed my eyes. Another day of school was about to unfold, and I wasn't ready for it. I knew I was going to be bombarded with hate comments; it's nothing new for me. I looked at my black leather shoes as I took every step on the marble floorings, keeping my head low. I attempt avoiding eye contact with anyone. "hey Loser nice outfit...not!" a girl shrieked, as a few other students began to look and snickered at my oversized dusk grey hoodie and black pants. I eventually looked up with a nervous expression written on my face as I browsed the hallways quickly. Every day I pray he would return, every day I checked if he returned, but he didn't, no sign of him. Soobin had no reason to disappear, "stop looking for him Y/N" a familiar voice buzzed in my eardrums, and I swiftly turned my heels to face the owner of the modulated voice. It was one of his friends Kang Taehyun, "but I loved Soobin.." I murmured glancing away in the direction of an empty corridor filled with rows of lockers. "it has been nine years already he won't come back." Taehyun rejoined he was also sad, and it exhibited in the tone of his voice, which I instantly picked up on. I saddened inside the one boy I loved was missing, and I have a belief that I was the causing to it all.

The day? well it went slower like a snail in a 15-mile race, all day I received hate comments which impacted my mood significantly. I didn't understand why I was receiving hate comments today; I usually got a punch in the face by Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is one of the most popular boys in this lame school him and his other six friends, I think he was absent today, which would be pretty epic if he could be away for the next two years. My thoughts were discontinued when I almost headbutted into my front door. I frantically shoved my hand into my pocket in hope to pull out the key that unlocked this door and allow me to return to the luxury of my bed. The sound of the keys jingled in my hands which were covered by my pockets as I pulled them out and rammed them into the keyhole, the door swung open as I slowly and carefully entered the house trying to avoid my father. The floorboards ruined my attempt to climb up the stairs as they creaked, catching the attention of my father who was sprawled across the white leather couch watching some show I didn't bother paying attention to. "you little brat.." my dad muttered and continued to watch his dumb show, I sighed in relief.

I continued my journey to the second floor, opening a door painted with a coat of white paint. I threw my bag beside the door and lay on my bed, opening my arms up like someone was going to hug me. I sighed and darted my eyes around my room. Nothing was appealing about it really; the walls were painted a light green which I painted with my mother. With a couple of posters of my favourite Kpop solo artist Chungha, a white desk which consisted of my laptop a few papers and five books squished together at the edge, the last book leaned against the wall. A black fluffy circle rug laid in the centre of the room covering a part of the oak wood flooring and the window was covered with white curtains which tinted the natural light that came through the white window. Beside my bed stood a nightstand with a cup of water and a small digital clock and a few Chungha albums I have collected over the past three years, I slowly made my way to my desk and ran my finger over the tops of the books before selecting one.

I glanced at the time displayed digital clock, 11:34 pm. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, my book landing on my lap, I just fell asleep while reading, I haven't gotten much sleep lately, I don't intend on finding out why. I could sound of screaming could be heard from my father as him and his friends enjoyed their soccer game that was on. It irritated my ears, I climbed out of my bed and straightened the cream cover I messed up tugging it, so it reaches my white pillow. I stood in the centre of my room, letting my feet wriggle in the fluff of my rug. At this point, I didn't know what to do; the constant screams of Yes reverberated throughout the townhouse, and it was going to be midnight soon. I thought of possible options and settled with getting ready for bed and sleeping...well attempt to sleep, I changed into something more comfortable to sleep in.

I again rose into bed and pulled the cream cover over my small body like I do every night. I closed my eyes, the memories of my mother flood into my mind like a tsunami. The day of her death was tragic, and I felt so alone in the world, my love Soobin went missing and then my mom died. I should die, as well...

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I hope you enjoy this new FF I'm working on, due to school, updates will be likely delayed.