It was her | h.s

31

Raelynn Smith

I give Haley her coffee. I tried my hardest to stop my hand from shaking as I handed it to her, I couldn't let her know that I was scared of seeing Harry, but of course. I'm shitting myself.

She's determined to come with me but I can't let her. That will make me look weak and all the more vulnerable to Harry. It would make me look an easy target.

I remember something that Niall said to me not so long ago about Harry wanting to speak to Me. What could he possibly want to say to me? I'm there to speak to him about the note and a bit more about the show. That was it. And then I'd go back to my office area and sleep and probably invite Haley round for that takeaway that I skipped yesterday. I felt bad turning her down for that, I didn't do it out of Hatred. It was just that a lot went on yesterday and I wasn't really hungry. She kept telling me she understood but part of me still feels really bad.

I go out and shut the door behind me after reassuring Haley that I'll be fine. But the thing is. I don't know if I'll be fine. But I had to remain confident. I had no choice. Well... I did. But I made the choice of not looking weak or vulnerable to Harry and that no matter what he does I will overcome it.

I walk really fast to the boys room. If all of them were in them I'll just ask to pull Harry out and go to a separate room. Or not. Oh god. What am I doing.

I stop dead in my tracks just to process everything and how it would work. If the boys were in there I could just politely ask them to leave? No. Then they'll get suspicious. I could just ask Harry about the note in front of them all? No. The notes too personal.

Oh god. How this was going to work out I had no clue. I decided to pace up and down the hall for a bit while looking down at the floor and picking at my lip and going on to biting my nails.

I repeated this process for god knows how long until I decided to suck it up. I walk over to other other end of the hall with my head sweating and my heart pace quickening.

This was not going to be easy. I already knew that. Wether there was screaming, crying, hitting. Whatever it took to find out about my dads note. Harry has to know, I know what my dad did was not an accident.

It takes me all of my courage to knock on the door with my sweaty knuckles. After I did I tucked my hands inside the sleeves of my hoodie and stood there waiting for an answer.

There was none.

I knock on the door a bit harder incase it wasn't loud enough the first time.

"Raelynn?" His low raspy voice said. Making me go into a pure state of panic. It takes me a moment to let a deep breathe out before turning around and meeting my eyes with his forest green ones.

"I- I need to speak to you." I say and immediately clear my throat after I hear how shaky my voice is due to nerves.

"Come inside" he says while nudging passed me to put the key in the lock. That must've meant no one else was in

"Where's the rest of the boys?" I say to ease up the tension a bit.

He doesn't make eye contact with me he just stops what he's doing and says

"It's just me and Ni in the room now. The other three just went off to another one."

"Oh okay." I say as he struggles to unlock the door

"Here let me-"

"I got it." He says back in frustration. I couldn't help but laugh to myself a bit. The soon to be famous Harry styles, lead singer, man who likes to spend his days snorting cocain... couldn't open a door.

He lets out a deep sigh as he looks up at me. I take my hand out of my sleeve and give the key the tiniest rotation to the right and the door unlocks.

"Whatever." He says while rolling his eyes. I knew it was out of embarrassment.

I hesitated to come in. I was just stood there like a lemon until he said

"You can come in you know." While pulling out two chairs.

I step inside slowly and close the door but not locking it just incase.

I go and sit on the chair that was about a metres distance away from his as we both just looking around the room at the thin air.

"Are we going to ignore the elephant in the room Raelynn?" He says while breaking the silence

"Well. There's loads of them to mention."

"You go ahead." He says as he leans back in his chair and rests his hands on the back of his head and resting one leg at a right angle on top of the other. He wasn't wearing a shirt and it only occurred to me now. He had so many tattoos. Like... so many. The butterfly one is what stuck out to me the most. What was a drug addict doing with a pretty looking butterfly on his stomach? All he had over him was a black pair of jeans and a red and black checkered flannel.

"Well. Where do I start."

"That's what I just asked you sweetheart." He says while plastering a smirk from ear to ear on his face.

"Don't push it styles." I say as I give him daggers through my eyes.

"Alright alright. Jeez." He says as he sits up and rests his elbows on his knees

I took a deep breathe in.

And out

"What the fuck were you thinking yesterday!" I say while without realising, standing up and shouting at him. That was the first thing I managed to blurt out. I didn't even want to talk about him nearly shooting me but it was at the front of my mind all of yesterday and this morning. I didn't even mean for it to come out as a shout. But it did.

"Raelynn calm down, just sit down and I'll tell you every-" he says as he goes to grab my arm to sit me back down but as soon as his fingertips brushed my forearm

"GET OFF ME." I shout out of instinct. I didn't know what he was going to do.

"Raelynn I can't tell you anything if you don't sit down. I'm not gonna hurt you.Okay... I'll tell you why I did what I did yesterday. And after I've told you, you can be as pissed as you want at me." He says reassuringly. At least I think it what reassuring.

I sit back down in my seat without leaning against it. I kept biting my nails and bouncing my knee up and down.

"Okay. Tell me what?"

"You're not going to like this." He says as he looks up at me through a strand of hair that was in his face. But it was okay.

I don't think I was going to like it either.