It was her | h.s

45

Raelynn Smith

I just stared at him wide eyed with my heart beating faster than it ever has done before. The sound of the rain that was falling on us was now absorbing every sound but him. I was still trying to process what he just said while his eyes pierced through mine. I had no clue what to say back. I didn't even know if I loved him or not. Love is a strong word and I don't think I truly even understood the meaning yet. Statistics prove that the more intimately you feel towards someone, the more they are able to notice your flaws. And that's the reason i didn't say it back to Harry, I don't want him to one day wake up and see me the way I see myself.

I couldn't say anything at this point and I think he noticed because he whispered

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how much I love you."

He helped me down off of his waist as we made our way back around the corner in the pouring rain. And when we make it round the corner we also see Haley and Ni kissing. I knew it. Oh my god I was so happy for her. I wanted to jump up and down in excitement but I wasn't going to ruin this moment for either of them.

"Here." Harry says as he taps my back to lead me back on to the motorcycle.

"Let's go home." He whispers

I nod in agreement. I was getting soaked from head to toe in raindrops and my clothes were starting to stick to me. He helps lift me up so I'm on the back and ready to wrap my arms around him. I decided I'd text Haley when I get back just to let her know we've headed home.

"Ready!" Harry shouts over the now roaring engine.

I nod my head on his back so he was able to feel it and before I knew it, we were off.

As I held onto Harry, everything around me was a blur. I was trying to process what went on. None of it felt real. But it was. I think you know a moment in your life is real when it feels too good to be it, it means you're living. I held on tightly to his waist as I battled with my own thoughts about my feelings towards him. Every other sound was muffled apart from him breathing, I found peace in that. I was battling with my thoughts about how I felt towards Harry. He made me feel wanted, he takes me nice places, we've had really nice encounters, he seems genuine but on the other hand, it was now 3 days until the show, if I admit I liked him now it would all be complicated and not work out anyway. I had to focus on the one and only one reason I was there and that was to do my job, no matter how I felt.

My head suddenly switched back to reality and what were once muffled noises were noises that flooded my ears; the motorcycle engine, the leaves on the trees as they swayed in the wind, the wind itself howling in my ear. Everything.

We eventually make it back to the uni as I hop off the bike. Harry goes to hold my hand as I pull away slightly. I didn't do it because I hated him. I did it because I didn't want to confuse the both of us. It would get to complicated and give each of us false hope that any of this was going to work.

"Ray whats up?" He asks while stopping and grabbing my forearms. I couldn't look him in the eye

"Nothing Harry its okay." I say. And I lie. If anything I was not okay and my eyes were filling with tears

"Raelynn don't lie to me." He says in a bit of a harsher tone

"Harry I said I'm okay." I shout back without even realising. And when I did I inhaled a sharp breath in the realisation that this man still tried to murder me, who says he wouldn't do it again if I raised my voice at him. This time I made eye contact. Rain droplets were falling from the ends of his hair onto his cheek, others on his eyes and most on his lips.

"Hey. Hey calm down." He says now in a softer voice. I think he realised I didn't mean to say it like that which caused a wave of relief to come over me.

"I- I'll see you tomorrow." I say as I untangle my way out of his touch leaving him standing there in the pouring rain while he watches me walk away as I don't turn back.

Whatever my stupid self thought me and Harry could ever possibly was not possible. It just couldn't happen. He leaves in 3 days and it would mess everything up. There's plenty of time for love in my life, I'm only 19 for god sake I still have an entire life ahead of me.

To get all of this off my mind I wanted to do something which i'd probably regret later on. But I wanted a new start. And to start that off

I wanted to dye my hair

I've never dyed my hair before so I'll probably get Haley to help me. I needed a new start so that me and Harry remained professional. I cant keep hoping for what I think will work to work in reality. It just won't. No matter how I felt about him, it just wouldn't work.

// THE GOLDEN MV COMES OUT TODAY AND IM SO EXCITED AHHH.

Also lmao now back to the point. I hope you like these last few chapters. What's really sad is that this book is actually ending soon🥺 I cant give an exact date or time. But it hasn't got long left.

~ but that's okay. I have a surprise.