Habits

Finn

Pairing: None

Quinn was sitting on her bed, like any other normal day, studying for the big exam she had coming up. Her roommate was out, probably fucking the guy of the week, so she soaked in the much needed silence.

It was about 9 at night when her phone started ringing. She smirked when she heard a recording of Rachel's 'My Headband' that Brittany sent her. She made it Santana's ringtone because she knew how much the latina hated the song. She let the phone ring until her favourite part. When Rachel finished and Brittany started clapping.

"Again!" Brittany's voice came out.

"That was the 5th time, Brittany." Rachel's voice sighed. Quinn smiled at the sound of the brunette.

"Again!" Brittany merely said again.

Quinn grabbed her phone when she realized that Santana was probably about to hang up.

"Hey." The blonde greeted. She was in a pretty great mood, honestly. Rachel had called her earlier in the day and it seemed to have made her incredibly happy.

Santana didn't answer. Quinn thought that she might've answered too late, but then she heard somebody breathing on the other line.

"San?" She asked. She heard something that sounded like a choked sob.

"Santana."

"He's gone." Was whispered into the phone. Quinn was utterly confused.

"Who-"

"Finn is dead." Santana was obviously crying, her voice was broken and she was kind of hiccupping.

Quinn knew that Santana wouldn't joke around about something that serious, but it was so random. She couldn't help but be suspicious.

"Santana. That's not something to kid a-"

"I'm not fucking kidding, Q!" Santana all but screamed into the phone.

It was then that the girl on the other side of the line lost it. She started sobbing hysterically and Quinn thought she almost stopped breathing.

After the blonde managed to calm Santana down, the latina explained everything and Quinn was quick to hang up the phone.

She didn't cry. Not right away.

She walked to the mini-fridge and grabbed a water bottle before gulping it all down. She was trying to convince herself that she was dreaming. It couldn't have actually happened.

Not Finn. He couldn't have died that way.

But he did. He was gone. The realization was bubbling up inside of Quinn and she soon found that she couldn't quite remember how to breathe properly.

She walked back into her room and closed the door behind her before locking it. She slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor with her back against the door.

She was shaking furiously, but she still wasn't crying.

Her breath was coming in shallow puffs and she was digging her nails into her arms. She felt as if she had to find a grip on something, or she'd float away. But, she also felt like a 100 tonne weight was placed on her. Her heart was pounding and she realized that she was rocking back and forth.

When was the last time she even spoke to Finn in her free time?

The last time she saw him was at Schuesters failed wedding. Even then, she barely spoke to him.

She didn't even know that he went back to college until Santana told her.

And then she felt it. The first drop of moisture that fell on to her arms. It was like that was all it took for the dam to break, because she was suddenly gasping for breath while simultaneously sobbing hysterically. Her hands were trying to find something to grab onto, but ended up gripping her hair at the scalp and she screamed and rocked back and forth.

"NO! NO NO NO! FUCK!" Was continually coming out of her mouth.

"FINN." She sobbed. Her heart ached and felt as if it were being torn into two piece. Her body was convulsing and she couldn't even bring herself to care that almost everybody on her floor could probably hear her.

"FUCK!" She screamed. One hand clutched at her chest, almost enough to rip the clothing that was covering her heart.

Quinn wasn't sure how long she cried that night, or the night after that, or the night after that.

She barely managed to leave her room to go to her classes. Sometimes she'd even go as far as not going and asking a classmate to email her the notes.

All she knew was that she couldn't go back to Lima for a while.

She stopped answering everybody's calls. Sometimes even Rachel's. But she knew how much the girl was hurting. So she toughened up enough to last through a conversation of comforting the diva, who always apologized after crying.

Santana texted her about the funeral. One she couldn't go to.

She didn't reply to the message. But, she knew one thing for sure, she cried harder on the night of the funeral, than she'd ever cried in her life.

Because a funeral meant that he was gone. He was really gone and she spent most of her time knowing him, being a bitch.

She knew he was gone. She just couldn't seem to comprehend it. It became something that she grew used to, that she'd never see Finn again. But, whenever she'd actually think about it, it would hit her.

She'd never see Finn again.

A/N: I watched The Quarterback today. I was feeling really sad after and decided to write.