Awakening (a kotlc story)

Part 20: that moment when you are so pathetic your nemesis feels bad for you

The chapter title is not calling Fitz pathetic, he is just a bit pathetic in the moment. FYFIRA/ZYTZ FOREVER!!!

Fitz crumpled to the floor and started crying. Alvar was gone. His big brother was gone. Dead. He reached out and clutched Mr. Snuggles close to him. Why was he crying? He had hated Alvar. Alvar had betrayed him and his family. He was supposed to be his big brother and protect him and Biana. But instead, he had stabbed them in the back. And now he was dead. Fitz should have been celebrating. Instead, he was camped out in his room, crying. He had known Alvar would die, Sophie had told him Alvar himself had admitted it. But Alvar dying had seemed so impossible. How could his strong older brother, always cool and suave, die? It hadn't seemed real. But it was. Hearing a knock on the door, Fitz turned in time to see Zyfira open the door. She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment.
"What are you doing here?" he growled, trying to wipe the tears off his cheeks. Zyfira was the last person he wanted to see him cry. She was probably going to tease him. Zyfira walked in and sat down next to him. She pointed at Mr. Snuggles, who Fitz had forgotten to hide.
"Who is this?" she asked, elbowing Fitz. Of course, she was going to tease him.
"Mr. Snuggles," Fitz mumbled, his face red. He looked down at the ground. Couldn't Zyfira ever just leave him alone?
"That's a good name," she said. She looked at him and smiled, making Fitz blush. Ugh. That was suspiciously little teasing. What was she up to?
"What are you doing here?" Fitz asked her. He glared at her.
"I wanted to see if you were okay," she whispered, staring at the ground. Fitz was speechless for a few seconds. That was not what he had expected. The question made him angry. He hated how everyone was treating him like he would shatter at any moment.
"Of course, I'm fine. Why should I care about that traitor?" Fitz spat. 'He betrayed all of us, I'm glad he's dead!"
"No, you're not," Zyfira said. "He may have betrayed you, but you cared about him. Family is family. You can't just stop caring about someone because they hurt you." Zyfira looked up at Fitz. "Believe me, I wish that was how it worked. You miss him, and that's okay. He was your big brother."
Fitz blinked back tears. "I knew he was going to die. He was sick, and he knew it himself, but it still...hurt so much. And it's my fault." Fitz admitted. He had felt so guilty ever since he heard the news.
"What do you mean?" Zyfira asked.
"I left him in the troll tank. It made him sick...and he died." Fitz couldn't look at Zyfira. If she had hated him before, he couldn't imagine what she thought now. He was an awful person. Fitz tried to swallow the lump in his throat, his eyes burning with tears. Zyfira reached out her arm, hesitating before patting his shoulder.
"He betrayed you guys, and he was dangerous. You were right to try and stop him. Don't feel guilty about it. You know what guilt can do to elves. You're not an awful person, but Alvar kinda was. Besides, you were in the middle of a battle, not thinking clearly. You may have wanted him to die in the heat of the moment, but not when you are calm and rational. " Fitz stared at Zyfira, shocked. The stuff she was saying was actually helpful. She continued,
"I had a great aunt twice removed or something who came and lived with us, and she was nobility, so she would take us places only nobility could go. She was the coolest, like what humans call a grandma. She brought amazing gifts and got me into Foxfire. But as soon as I got sent to Exillium? Poof! She turned evil and was horrible to my family. So, I got her kicked out of the nobility." Zyfira smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I hated her, but I still cared about her. And I still feel awful for what I did. But she deserved it." Fitz could see the anger in her eyes. He could almost swear that he saw sparks in her eyes.
"How did you get her kicked out of the nobility?" Fitz asked, incredulous. Zyfira grinned.
"I hid a few muskogs near her seat, and when she left because of the smell, I grabbed her pathfinder and made it look like she had visited loads of human places without permission. Having an uncle who is a Technopath is very useful." Zyfira gave him an evil smile. "Also, I gave her a farting elixir right before a big speech of hers. Embarrassing her was the best part."
Fitz stared at her. He really hoped Keefe and Zyfira never teamed up to prank someone. The world might not survive.
"Remind me not to get on your bad side," he joked. Zyfira smirked.
"Truce?" she suggested, holding out a hand for him to shake.
"Truce." Fitz agreed, shaking her hand. He pulled back quickly, feeling a spark. Zyfira pulled back too, although she almost looked...scared? She grinned sheepishly.
"Now then," Zyfira said, with a smile that made Fitz very worried. It was the same smile from when she told him about the farting elixir she had given her great aunt twice removed.
"Tell me more about Mr. Snuggles."