Return of the Spambook

goddammit

(rant) turns out that we're gonna be celebrating my birthday at a restaurant and i thought we would just eat and go to my place to play video games (btw what else do you do when you invite ppl over?? i only know about video games) but no turns out it's gonna be done in the way my parents want it to be done. which is basically sitting at a restaurant and talking for hours. i hate that. like, the entire purpose of going to a restaurant is to eat food. it's not to stay there for hours after finishing the food and just talking about random topics that nobody really cares about
like, i don't wanna sound selfish or anything, but isn't the celebration of my birthday supposed to be like my special day? it's supposed to make me happy, and if all we're gonna be doing is sitting at a restaurant and talking and not even playing video games later, then why even bother celebrating it? also we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic, i don't want to risk my cousin, my friend and i getting corona, or risk my parents' or even their parents' lives by being bored at a restaurant. i don't even like food all that much??? im pretty sure that my dad is fully aware of the fact that i despise these types of "parties" because i've complained about them to him a lot but he still decided to celebrate my birthday this way. come on man
like, i never even talk at any of these shit celebrations i just look at my phone without socializing, and that's exactly what's gonna happen at my own birthday party
it's like everybody else but me, the birthday kid, will be having fun on this stupid party and i don't think that's how it works
also my since my cousin lives like 20km away from where i live, and she's coming all this way to this dumb restaurant that's very close to where i live, i think it would make sense for her to come over and stay for a while
and i think it would make sense for my friend, my literal neighbor that lives 1 floor above me, to stay over as well
but oh no turns out we're not doing that???? what?????????? excuse me? huh? pardon me?

sorry if it seems like im ungrateful or something, and it probably does but like i love my parents and im thankful for everything they've done for me, i just don't understand why my dad made that decision even though i've made it obvious that i hate these types of "celebrations"

anyways i recently watched tua and i wanted to look at some edits (the video ones with the music) and 90% of them are about five n like come on i wanna see everybody else too??