Take Care

The Basement

Slowly and with outmost care, I opened the door. I stuck my head through and was faced with a short flight of stairs leading down. I had been down here many times but it felt so different this time.

I flicked on the light and went quickly down the steps. As I reached the floor I was met with an awful odor. I think it was the usual basement mustiness mixed with old liquor and greasy hair. A strangely familiar smell. One I hadn't experienced since the start of the band but, still familiar.

I saw the old couch we had thrown down here after I moved in. It was the one from my old apartment and had way too many memories to just throw away.

I knew he was on the other side of that couch. Maybe it was instinct or maybe it was just that smell getting stronger, either way I knew he was there.

And he was. He lay in a ball, tucked Up on one end. Sighing, I seated myself next to him, making the whole couch squeak. Then his eyes fluttered open and a piece of my heart was sewn back on. With my mind at ease, I wrapped myself around him. "I'm sorry." I whimpered pathetically. "Frankie?" He yawned, reaching his hand up to hold his head. "I'm sorry." I said again, slightly louder. "I feel like shit." He muttered. "I know." I sighed and felt responsible. "I'll help you upstairs and you can have crackers and water, okay?" I offered, hoping it would help ease his stomach ache.

He quickly pried himself out of my embrace, tightening himself up closer. "No no no. I can't go upstairs." He shook his head once to the left and winced. "Gerard you're freezing. You can't stay down here." I said softly and reached out to touch his arm which he swatted away. "No. Bandit is up there and she can't see Me like this.I don't need water, or crackers. I dont need medicine for my headache or a blanket either so don't ask." His words still slurred together a bit. I wasn't sure if it was sober Gerard or drunk Gerard talking but either way, once hebfets down here, he has to come up himself. No one, not even I can talk him into coming up.

I decided to let him do his thing. Let him get this through his system. I bit my lip anxiously, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I told him one last time before going upstairs. I hope he knew what I meant.

An hour later, when Bandit had finished her movie she appeared in the kitchen with her tray. "Did you enjoy your breakfast in bed, sweetheart?" I asked, taking her glad and bowl and placing them in the dishwasher. She smiled a childish smile although there were gaps and Crooks, it was still beautiful.

At noon; Bandit told me a story about something she did at recess over a lunch of grilled cheese and Gerard had not come up yet.

At three pm; Bandit fell of the couch after jumping on the cushions and I shuffled around in the hall closet until I found the first aid kit and Gerard had not surfaced.

At six pm; Bandit decided she wanted pizza for dinner which I happily ordered and had to stop myself from asking Gerard what he wanted because he was not there.

At bedtime; I tucked Bandit into her bed with,her pink and black comforter and her purple night gown. I kissed her forehead and said goodnight. Just as I was about to leave she asked, "Daddy has to sing a song. Where's daddy?". The piece of my heart that had earlier been sewn together was now torn again. "Honey I'm sorry. Daddy wasn't feeling good Today. Are you going to be able to fall asleep?" I wondered, trying not to sound hurt. "Yeah." She whispered in a small tired voice. If she couldn't hear the pain in my voice, I could hear it in hers. I kissed her forehead once more and left her room for the night.

Just as I left the room, the door to Gerard and I's bedroom closed softly. I felt something in my chest and it was something I felt too often. By the time I got into the room he was already in bed and asleep. I wasn't sure how he moved so stealthily but I was glad he did. I joined him and for the first time in a couple nights, we had gone to bed at the same time.