Hope | Yoonseok

83.0

"I just want to feel better. My own body is my deepest enemy. It wants, it wants, it wants and when it does not get, it cries and cries and I punish it. How can you live in fear of your own body?"

Kathleen Glasgow

-

Hoseok had managed to avoid Yoongi the whole entire school day, he didn't want to... But he wasn't ready to face him yet.

Unfortunately for Hoseok, Yoongi found him just before he could've left school. "We need to talk." He had muttered under his breath, pulling Hoseok along.

"Listen Yoongi, I'm so sorry for yelling at you- I shouldn't have done th-"

"That's not what I want to talk about." Yoongi came to a halt, crossing his arms. "Hoseok we need to talk about your scars." Yoongi reached out for Hoseok's arm who just pulled it back. "No we don't."

"Hoseok-"

"They're old."

"They're not old! Some of them looked like a day old!" Hoseok just wanted to disappear into the ground right then and there. "You could've told me about it..." Hoseok softly shook his head, pulling his sleeves even further down. "Hoseok... I want to help you."

"Y-you really shouldn't." Yoongi had a pained expression painted on his face. "Sweetheart how long have you been doing this to yourself?" He gulped, avoiding Yoongi's gaze. "A few years." He mumbled, ashamed of himself. "Why?"

"T-to cope with the stress..." Hoseok was afraid to meet Yoongi's eye. He must think he is the most pathetic person ever. Yoongi suffered so many traumas and not even once put a blade to his skin. But no, the second he panics or expierences stress is when he picks up yet another blade to make yet another scar on his arm. "Hoseok, hey..." Yoongi cupped Hoseok's face, he closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. "I love you." Yoongi reminded him.

"I can help you, please allow me to help you like you helped me." Hoseok shook his head, lifting Yoongi's hand away from his face. "You're still recovering-"

"That doesn't matter. We can recover together baby, we can do this." Hoseok's lip quivered, he tried his hardest blinking away his tears. "Let it out, let all your emotions out Hoseok. Together we will get through it."

"I can't." Hoseok's voice broke before he fully crashed down. Since the first time in their relationship the roles had been switched. Yoongi's precious sunshine wasn't a sunshine, he was a broken boy hiding behind a facade.

He pulled his boyfriend in for a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back while Hoseok sobbed, gripping onto him tightly. "I'm so sorry... You must be so disappointed in me now-"

"No, No I am not. I could never be disappointed in you for this..." Yoongi leaned back, cupping Hoseok's face. "I love you, I really do, nothing will change that." He leaned up to kiss Hoseok's tears away. It hurt Yoongi knowing that Hoseok had been dealing with his pain alone for years. The fact that he had been out there helping Yoongi and not taking care of himself made Yoongi feel like an asshole. In the months that they have been together he did not see the signs or the scars once.

Now it was their time to fight against the world together.

-

Yoongi had walked with Hoseok all the way back to his home, holding his hand tightly. "I don't think I can tell them-" Hoseok tried turning away but Yoongi pulled him back. "Admitting to it is the first step. I'm sure the people here are more than willing to get you help."

"Wh- what if they just kick me out as well? I'm not their son... I'm not his brother, they'll think I'm jus-"

"They won't. They really won't. Trust me. You can trust me right?" Hoseok took a deep breath in and nodded before opening the door and stepping inside. He saw Eunkyung sitting at the table with a book that she put aside with a smile when she saw Hoseok with Yoongi.

"U-uhm... Eunkyung I- ....I have to tell you something..." She took her reading glasses off, shooting Hoseok a serious glance. "Just me?"

"A-all of you." She mentioned for Hoseok and Yoongi to go sit at the table while she disappeared upstairs. Yoongi squeezed in his hand. "You can do this." He whispered, a kind smile on his face. Eunkyung and Namil came walking downstairs, followed shortly by a sleepy Seokjin. They all took a seat at the table and glanced over at Hoseok.

"What do you need to tell us sweetie?" Seokjin's mother smiled kindly. "Don't tell me you managed to somehow get Yoongi pregnan-" Seokjin got a smack against the back of his head by his father, immediately waking up a little more. "Whatever it is Hoseok, I'm sure we can figure something out." Namil said.

"I- uhm... S-seokjin I'm so s-sorry for never telling y-you this..." Hoseok looked down at his lap, trying his hardest to not break down right then and there. He looked up and made eye contact with everyone, getting back the courage when he looked at Yoongi.

He grabbed his sleeve and rolled it up, exposing his arm that was riddled with scars. "Hoseok..." Eunkyung breathed out, staring at his arm with disbelief. "I- ... I hurt myself and... I was hoping t-that you could help me." Hoseok's gaze fell on Seokjin, his expression unreadable. "Jin I-"

"I'm sorry Hobi I need... I need some fresh air." Seokjin stood up from his chair, leaving through the front door. Hoseok's eyes followed him, biting back his tears.

"Hoseok hey, sweetheart. Of course we'll help you." Eunkyung reached out and grabbed Hoseok's hand, pulling him up from his chair and wrapping him in her loving arms. "Jinnie just needs some time to let it sink, he'll be more than willing to help. I know my son." Namil stood up as well, silently wrapping his arms around his wife and Hoseok.

-

A/N only a few chapters left.👀👀👀