Dancing in the Florida Sun (Completed)

11- Confused

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     "Tyler's gone?" Brooke nodded and let Jacob in, then watched as he joined Noah on his play mat. "I heard a suitcase rolling down the sidewalk earlier and figured it was him. I stayed at Nan's last night, thinking you would need someone to talk to after he left today." He looked up at her as she sat down on the floor across from him. "How are you? How did you leave things?"

     She shrugged and furrowed her brow. "He acts like it's up to me. Like I'm the one that has been holding us back, when up 'til now I have been trying to get him to accept us and make more of a commitment to us. To be honest, I'm confused." As she looked into Jacob's kind eyes, she knew the confusion went deeper than what she was willing to express. "I'm having trouble believing he's sincere after two years of him stalling our relationship. It just seems like too much of a coincidence that after finding out Dr. Gupta's perspective, he suddenly wants us to be a family."

     Jacob reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."

     Noah seemed to sense his mom's need for compassion and climbed into her lap, then grabbed Jacob's hand from her shoulder and placed it into his own lap. Noah patted it and looked at Jacob. "Da."

     As Brooke's eyes dropped to their clasped hands, she felt her heart race. "I'm worried about letting someone in who will just let us down in the future."

     Jacob tensed and shifted his gaze to Noah. "You deserve someone who will love you both, and be there for you both...always."

     Tears welled up in her eyes. "It's hard letting someone in, especially after all my mom went through with my dad. I waited a long time for what I thought was love. And now I'm left confused and unsure."

     "I get it. Watching my mom with guys left me so cynical about love. I've never told a girl that I love her. I've dated, but I put up a wall. I've not let anyone past it. When's your next appointment with the therapist?"

     "First thing Monday at 8. Hopefully I can get through the weekend without losing it." She frowned.

     "You could try praying?"

     "To a God I don't believe in? You think he's like a genie and will grant my requests? 'Ask and you will receive' and all that? I know better. When I was a kid I used to go to church with my grandmother. When I noticed the problems with my parents, I prayed for him to fix it and nothing happened."

     "You were praying for the wrong thing. You're right. He's not a genie; he doesn't work that way."

     Brooke wanted to be angry with him. Why was he talking to her like this. "It's useless."

     "Maybe you should start by praying for God to show himself to you." She shook her head skeptically. "Do you remember when I stopped Noah from running into the parking lot? Before you knew me?" She nodded at Jacob's question. "Noah knew what he wanted, but you as the parent, knew the potential danger that could result from him getting what he wanted. It's like that with God. What we want or think we need isn't always what we need in the long run. Maybe the hard things we go through now prepare us for something in the future, or maybe it lays the groundwork to help someone else. There are so many things happening in so many people's lives, and he is working it all out. I've struggled with the same thing, and did some research on it."

     "Research?"

     He pulled out his phone and looked something up, then started reading.

     "Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."