Her Home, His Heart | ✓

☆*✿NINETEEN (19)❀*★

♪♪ I guess I need you

I may have made it rain, please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song is my sorry ♪♪

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ[Every time] - [Britney Spears] 

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Esmé gulped hard and her fist tightened around the Prussian blue flowery-patterned tray she was holding. She stared intently at the items on it, mostly the folded letter she placed there.

She exhaled and looked up from the tray to the ostensibly simple sepia-brown closed-door in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat. The door stood tall like the Berlin wall, a stumbling block she had to overcome. It was the one thing that blocked her from Kian's anger. Its nicely crafted etchings screamed and mocked her for what she was about to do.

After the incident the previous day and calling Ronnie, she had spent lots of time thinking of ways to apologize to both Petra and Kian for not trusting them enough. She assumed apologizing to Petra would have been easier since she was closer to her, but that wasn't the case. Esmé hadn't seen Petra since she left her hospital room.

Even when Esmé was getting discharged, Petra wasn't anywhere close by.

Esmé's apology to Petra took a back seat so she could deal with the gnawing presence of her inebriated host. She understood Kian's reason for being angry which was why she was there, standing in front of his room door with a tray filled with breakfast, a jug of water, an empty glass, ibuprofen for the hangover she was definitely sure he would have and an apology letter.

She didn't want to leave things the way they were with Kian. They had a nice solemn environment in the house and she wasn't ready for them to return to the avoiding-each-other phase they previously had going on.

Her mind drifted to the letter, but she made sure her eyes didn't follow through. Esmé had spent an enormous amount of time since she got discharged, doodling and thinking of the right words to put down. She wasn't sure what words she went with but she wasn't ready to pick up the paper to check it knowing very well that if she did; she would find a word or two not to her taste like the others.

Esmé raised her right hand up to the door to knock, but her fist hung just before it hit the door. Her lips pressed together as she bit her inner cheek in doubt. A tiny moan came from her right side, drawing her attention to Archie who slept peacefully, unaware of her struggles.

She dropped her hand and groaned. How had Kian straight out apologized previously? It felt so hard.

The thought of the unknown that could happen had her lowering the tray to the floor. Esmé turned away from the door to scan the living room for a place she could hide behind.

Being a coward was not something she figured was in her list of attributes but at that moment she wanted to let him read the letter first without her presence there and she also wanted to know what his reaction to her letter would be before she faced him.

This was why she searched for the perfect spot behind a sofa where she could hide safely from his view whilst having the perfect view of his reaction. She turned back to the door, knocked twice and waited until she heard grumbling from the other side before she made a beeline for the back of the sofa. Her hand snapped to her mouth to hide her squeal at almost being caught once the door opened.

Esmé took a second to calm herself down before she peeped to see the event unfold. Her eyes bulged out of their socket at the sight in front of her.