Reprobate Romance (Andy Biersack) ✔️ (editing)

7: Confessions

"Okay guys, I'm done. I'm gonna head back to the hotel. Unlike y'all, I know my limits." I murmured in a half-dazed state after I downed my last glass of whiskey.

They all whined in disappointment and looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes.

"I'll walk you there." Andy then suddenly suggested, firmly placing yet another empty glass onto the bar.

"Party pooper." CC muttered as he poked my forehead. I just rolled my eyes, as usual.

After saying our goodbyes, Andy and I casually walked back to the hotel in silence. It was a pretty cold night out, but go figure, it was December. Luckily, it wasn't that far. "You're not going back? It is your birthday, you know." I mentioned teasingly.

Andy laughed as we got out of the elevator in the hotel. "I'm pretty sure that my birthday ended four and a half hours ago." He pointed out as we walked down the hall.

Holy shit. Was it that late already? Well oops.

I unlocked my hotel room's door and walked in with Andy closely behind me. "You know, I've never thanked you for all that you've done for us."

I slowly turned around and looked up at him. "Thank me?" I asked. "For what? Doing your make-up, washing your clothes, cleaning your bus and seeing to it that you all stay alive and actually get to your shows in time?" If that wasn't sarcasm, I wouldn't know what was.

Andy nodded awkwardly and smiled, hating to admit that they honestly did so little themselves. "Keeping me alive is not a necessity, though. I never planned on living very far beyond 30, but... thank you." He whispered, most sincerely.

For a moment I was thrown off guard by Andy's sudden movement to kiss me on the cheek. He had never done that before. But it felt nice and it momentarily made me unable to look at anything but those eyes of his; those unique and beautiful baby blues.

Out of nowhere, though, my view was gone. A shadow and a pair of eyelashes that tickled my cheeks had replaced it. Then quickly followed by two soft lips touching mine, as a hand slowly traveled up my neck.

I was shocked, frozen. What was this? First Ronnie, and now Andy? What the...?

Andy then pressed his lips a little harder onto mine. And though I could feel his need for it, I didn't kiss him back. I just couldn't. It was wrong.

Yet something inside of me told me to give in, because in all honesty, I was kind of enjoying this. There wasn't a set of lips more perfect than Andy's. And that was a serious problem.

It was all fairly innocent, until his fingers laced themselves through my hair and his tongue started to beg for entrance. That's when I decided to back away.

The look in his eyes was nothing that I had ever seen before. It was as if he was about to either burst into tears or punch the wall. But Andy wasn't usually one to lose his shit, not in front of me anyway.

Within mere seconds, he lunged himself at me again. "Andy, stop!" I demanded as I placed my hands on his chest to form some kind of distance between us. I felt his heart racing underneath the palm of my hand. What was going on with him? "I can't do this, Andy." I calmly whispered.

"Why not?" He asked, pleadingly. "She cheated. She has already moved on. Why can't I?" This was drunken talk, which honestly pissed me off all the more.

"What?" I questioned, demanding an explanation.

"Lexus, it doesn't matter. Stacy and I are so over."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh so apparently because you're pissed off at your girlfriend for cheating on you, you just go ahead and kiss me as revenge? Thank you so much, Andy. Fuck you." I stormed off into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I was pretty furious to be honest. This was so unlike Andy.

"Lexus, I'm sorry." Andy then said as he tugged at the handle of the door. "Will you please come out so I can explain myself?" He sounded pretty upset, but I wasn't done with being angry with him just yet.

I sighed and sat down on the toilet bowl in silence.

"Okay fine, but please listen then..." He then started. "I didn't kiss you because I wanted some kind of revenge on Stacy, okay? Truth is, I don't really feel anything towards that situation. We just... fell out of love, I guess. But I mean... a normal person would be angry or hurt, right? But I'm not. And it's... it's because I have feelings for you, Lexus. And just now, I kind of panicked. I'm sorry."

While my heart was heavily skipping beats, my brain tried its hardest to ignore the fact that Andy had just confessed that he had feelings for me. But whether or not that was really the case, I felt kind of bad for him.

I took a deep breath, got up, and opened the door again. There was fear written all over Andy's face. I leaned up against the frame of the door and looked him in the eye. "Are you... sure that she's been cheating on you?"

Andy chuckled sarcastically. "Oh yes." He confirmed. "The guy she's been fucking told me himself. Sweet, isn't it?"

I frowned as Andy diverted his eyes away from me to look somewhere else. He pretty much knew what I was going to ask now, and he seemed hesitant to tell me. "Who?" I whispered anyway.

Andy sighed deeply as he pulled his cigarette box from his pocket, and lit one up. These hotel rooms were no-smoking zones, but whatever. "Your brother." He muttered rather darkly against the cigarette bud.

My eyes widened. "Excuse me?" I asked, disbelief evident in my own voice.

Andy took a big drag and blew it out all at once. "You heard me." He murmured without emotion as he looked at me again. "He told me in April. They're not actually together, though, but still."

My jaw dropped. He had known this for that long? And not said a single word? Holy shit. It wasn't something I expected from my brother at all, nor from Stacy, to be really honest. Did he really say that they just... fell out of love? Damn... If it was one relationship that I pictured to last forever, it was theirs. But clearly, I was mistaken.

"I'm just gonna go to my room."

As Andy was about to turn around and walk away, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a tight embrace. Without much thought, he sighed and wrapped his arms back around me.

"I'm really going to kill my brother now." I then muttered darkly.

Andy snickered and held me tighter. "God please don't ever change, Lexus." He whispered. "And... I'm sorry if I freaked you out with my... confession. Will it...?"

I looked up at him and shoved a lock of hair out of his face. "Andy, stop." I whispered as I looked into his eyes. "Look, I can't... return my feelings for you at this time. Not while you're... you just need to talk to her, okay? Get this over with, the healthy way. Officially. Then we shall see from there."

Andy frowned and nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"Friends?"

He lightly kissed my forehead and smiled. "Friends." The words coming from his mouth were with slight hesitance, but I wasn't going to hook up with someone who was still technically in a relationship, cheating or not.

Radke was a different story.

This whole situation pretty much explained why Stacy wasn't with us on Christmas though, or on his birthday for that matter. What I understood from Andy, there were no hard feelings between the two of them. They were still friends, but the love was just gone. Apparently it had been gone for a while now, but they simply hadn't brought it to the public yet because they had both been so busy with their music. And wanting to avoid the public drama was understandable enough.