LONG LOST (A Sungurtekin Bey Fanfiction)

40.

The past she hid from every body was the reason she was here. The strength she had today was because of her past. You either live or you die. But if you live, live strong!! Her past had taught her this. It had been terrible, very terrible. Yet it was her past. She had to own it and she did. The memories of that night were washing her insides with chills as she sat down beneath the tree. She lied her back with the trunk. It was a hard day indeed. All she wanted to do was to go to her tent, make her bed and lay down. But she knew that was not going to happen as Halime was expecting to give birth tonight. Life was at it's peak in both marquees. Tugtekin had left their marquee in evening in order to have some rest yet Gokce was in the marquee beside Halime. She was ashamed for her behaviour and was consciously compensating for her behaviour towards Halime. Nuray smiled ,closed her eyes and inhaled the peaceful air around her.

"So someone is enjoying the weather." Her eyes popped open at the voice. She stood up immediately and smiled at him. He was standing in front of her with his hands bound behind him.

"You are late!" Nuray complained and sat back.

"I had some important work. A letter came from a friend and I had to answer it." Sungurtekin replied, sitting beside her. She was not able to see his hands still. She could not stop herself asking.

"What do you have there?"

"I made something for you. Actually Gokce made it. I just asked." He took out the cap from behind him. It was his cap. The same that he had given her before.

"How did you get it? Did you sneak into my tent?" She screamed.

"No, Halime did." Sungurtekin replied holding his hands in air defensively.

"You must have made her."

"She just wanted to help." Sungurtekin was staring at her innocently making her more angry.

"SUNGUR!!!"

"Alright, I made her do this. But look what I did!" He said and brought out a deep maroon scarf that was sewed to the cap. It was beautiful. Nuray just kept staring at it. "I want you to wear it tomorrow at our wedding." He handed her the cap.

"This is beautiful." She replied holding the cap. Her anger vanished in the air immediately.

"So are you." Sungurtekin smiled.

Nuray remained silent, fidgeting her fingers as the cap remained placed in her lap. She was trying to tell him something. Sungurtekin gave her some time and looked away giving her some privacy so that she could make a decision on her own.

"There is something I wanted to tell you." She finally spoke. Sungurtekin turned to her. There was in impression in her eyes which he knew very well.

Fear of losing something that has not yet happened to you.

Fear of losing the loved ones.

"What is it?" He asked slowly.

"I... It's very hard for me..." She sighed.

"You can tell me." He assured her.

"I have to. I don't want our relation to be based on lies and secrets." She said then closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she opened them and looked directly into his dark eyes. "Alright. I am not a virgin." She spilled it out.

"WHAT??!!" Sungurtekin yelled. He had lived among the mongols, he had travelled the world with them. Which made him a little broad minded than the other turks but still..... he was shocked. Shocked to the very core of his soul.

"Yes, it is true." She sighed. Sungurtekin had stood up and started pacing furiously. The only thing he did whenever he was tense.

"You were married before?" He asked in disbelief. Hoping for a positive answer.