Loving Dr. Spencer Reid

Molly Reid

I hope you guys dont mind a bit of a time jump, if so leave a comment and ill fill in the time lost.

Shockey1997

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1 MONTH LATER

''I can't do this anymore Spencer, I can't, Wyatt is suppose to be here with us not up there'' I sobbed in bed. It had been this way for a month now and time was going its slowest to take the pain away.

I didn't want to live without Wyatt, he was suppose to be in my arms, here beside me. The pain in my heart and sould would just not go, no matter what I did It always ended up in water works. How am I suppose to go on living with this. You truly don't know how hard it is untill you have expoerinced it yourself.

''Bell, you need to except that he is in a better place and move on'' I looked at Spencer he didn't have an ounce of sadness on his face, nothing, there was nothing in his eyes, just completely blank.

''How could you say that, its like your not even sad about him not being here?'' I shouted now getting upset.

''Bell, I care alot, I am, like you, are still greaving for our sons death but nothing we do will bring him back and that is just the way life is'' He replied.

I wiped away the tears and sat back in my bed, I didn't want to accept it and I didnt have too. All of sudden Molly started to scream all I did was lay there, I didn't want to hold her, feed her nothing I don't know just something in me wouldn't let me do that.

Spencer got up from bed and went to attened to her needs. He came back with her in his arms, rocking her form side to side.

''Could you please hold her while I do her bottle?'' he asked.

I looked at her in his arms.

There was something seroiusly wrong with me, I don't know turned off that day when I gave birth but it did and nothing I did turned it back on. I wasn't ready for this, I knew I wasn't, this wasn't a good idea.

I shock my head and Spencer sighed and walked out of the room.

I got up after him and followed him into the kitchen, I quickly grabbed the bottle off the counter and placed some powder in there and some warm water. I shock the bottle and handed it to him, he gave me a sad smile and began to feed her, I watched as he did it so carefully, like if he did it wrong then she would brake. Molly looked like she would brake at the sight of people picking her up and playing with her.

I tell you Garcia loves her to death, she is always around here helping me out, I always have someone here with me when Spencer is away as at the moment I dont like to hold her or touch her. Most of the time it's either Jack or my mom that come around, I'm starting to think they have asigned days between each other.

I sat down on the sofa with Spencer and he continued to feed our daughter. She looked just like him as the days go by her features become more clear as to who she will look like.

After a few minutes Spencer handed the bottle back to me and I got up and cleaned it out, better to clean as you go along that way it doesnt build up.

I came back to Spencer Burping her, she made all these little sounds as I walked apst her, she looked up at me and gave a little smile, I stoped in my actions and just looked at her and she continued to smile. It was then my heart melted and something clicked back on and I couldnt help but smile back, I didn't relise before but she has blue eyes. I sat down next to Spencer, all I did was watch. Watch him change the nappies, Watch him feed her, clothe her and bathe her. I was ingrossed on how Spencer did these things.

''Spencer?'' I asked still looking at our daughter.

''Yeah?'' he asked

''Can..I.. Can I hold her please'' I stated

He shot me a look, a look of confusion, he couldn't understand why I was all of a sudden chnaging my mind about things.

''Yeah.. you know you don't have to ask, she is also your daughter too'' He smiled and then handed her to me slowly.

She was so little, so fargile I did feel like I could brake her if one of my movements weren't right. She looked up at me and I smiled, Molly smiled back.

I ran my finger along the bridge ofher nose gently, yep she had Sepncers nose alright no doubt there. I laughed alittle as I looked at her.

''Why are you laughing?'' he asked watching my closly incase something happened.

''She just looks so much like you Spencer'' I looked up at him and smiled.

''She has your eyes though'' He stated and I nodded at that, she did, she had my blue eyes but everythig else was Spencer. A mini Spencer.

''She's so Beautiful'' I whipsered

Spencer didnt say anything but just watched.

How could I have missed out on a month of her life, I was being selfish is how I missed out on a month.

I'm still sad about Wyatt but thats no reason to blame it on her. I sighed as I gave her back to Spencer and he finished burping her then placed her back in bed, I followed close behind and watched then headed back to bed and snuggled into the blankets.

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Next Day.

''Mom, don't come today... yeah no im fine, I just think its been long enough and I need to take care of my own daughter... no im fine theres nothing wrong with me... yeah.... okay.... why?.... right okay well just dont come today okay!?, I'll be fine.. I'll ring you if anything goes bad.. Alright love you bye'' I smiled as I hung up the phone. Spencer had already left for work, he said something this morning about JJ and Henry would be visiting this afternoon. All I did was smile and nod at what he was saying.

I walked into Molly's room, she was fast asleep, this had been the fourth time this morning I just liked doing it and making sure she didnt sufficate or anytrhing bad like that.

I took a few photos now and then on my phone and sent them through to Garcia who loved them. I swear she had arleady millions of photos of Molly but somehow wanted more and it was only the first month.

I walked back int the lounge and looked around for something to do, I must say it was a bit boaring being stuck inside all day and not being able to go out and about. I looked over at Edgar who had his head tilted and looking at me.

''Dont give me that look'' I smiled and looked at him the same way with my head tilted.

I sighed and walked over to the sofa and plonked down.

It was dead slient the only sounds was Edgar and his bad breathing as well as the clock which was starting to annoy me, I hardly ever watch the t.v I don't really find it all that interesting and I was always to busy to even think about watching it.

I started to pat Edgar as I was thinking.

I'm sure I'll find something to do today, Maybe the internet is a good place to start and off I went untill it was time to tend to Molly.