fall for u [JenLisa]

twenty three

-jennie-

This has got to be the most memorable Christmas yet, at least for me.

It was a roller coaster of emotions. I just can't believe it would end badly. Unexpectedly. Horribly.

I just lost my bestfriend on a Christmas day and now, I'm about to push away my girlfriend.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did you two fight? Do you want me to bring Rosé back here?" Lisa caresses my jaw. Her forehead were creased into a frown as she studies my face. I'm doing terrible at acting fine like I claim to be, I know.

I've long been crying since she was asleep but I still feel like crying now that she's awake and I really don't want her to notice.

"I'm really fine, Lis. Just worn out. Rosé just... had things to do so she had to leave while you were asleep," I looked away from her.

My mind kept on recalling my conversation with Rosé earlier and how terrible of a friend I was. I feel sick in the stomach and I didn't want Lisa to worry, which obviously isn't going according to plan. My coward self knows it's more of... I didn't want her to ask more. I feel terrible. I don't know what I'd say if she asks me.

And Rosé... I know I can't give up on our friendship just like that. My friendship with her and Jisoo isn't something that I can easily give up on.

I can just convince her, right? I'll give her time. I'm willing to forget everything, even the kiss. Oh God, the kiss.

"Alright, alright. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better, though?" she pressed her palm on my shoulder, squeezing gently, repeatedly to massage me a little.

I felt guilty even when it was Rosé who kissed me.

"I think I'll just catch some sleep. You should, too. You barely slept last night and I know your nap in the couch earlier wasn't much comfortable," I suggested, hoping she'd just agree because I don't think I could hold back my tears any longer.

She stared at me with her big, dark orbs, as if she already knew something was up with me, but I was glad to see her nod with a sigh in surrender.

"Text me when you get home, okay?" I reminded her.

She gave me a weak smile, "I will, but I won't leave you here alone. My assistant here will take care of you while I'm away," she grabs the huge stuff toy she gave me from the swivel chair I've put him on and placed it on my bed, beside me.

Feeling a tug in my heart, I threw myself in Lisa's arms and just hugged her, where a lone tear strolled down my cheeks. I quickly wiped it away before she sees.

She didn't ask anything and just wrapped her arms around me, like a good girlfriend she promised to be.

When I pulled away for a bit, she gave me a short goodbye kiss. I squeezed my eyes close and tried to ignore the memory of Rosé kissing me.

Sending Lisa away must be a bad decision, I instantly regretted it when I was left alone. That's how I ended up cuddling Limario to sleep. That's the name I've given the stuff toy, to remind me of Lisa. If he was a person, he would've complained about being soaked because of my tears, but he isn't so he have no choice but to catch my tears as if he's really taking care of me like Lisa would want him to.

But no, it's a good decision to send Lisa away, so she wouldn't see me cry like this.

Days passed and I tried not to contact Rosé. I've decided to give her space and hopefully, she'll be willing to talk when we get back to univ next year.

I stayed in contact with Jisoo, though. I told her everything. I asked her to check on Rosé but she said the latter was ignoring her calls and texts too.