Insecure

I Want To Be Your...

Seth POV

I stand up from where I'm sitting when I hear the door opening. I see Gabby step in with a girl I don't recognize until she is fully facing me. It takes me a second to realize that the girl standing in front of me is Isabelle. She looks completely different. Her whole wardrobe has changed. Her old baggy clothes are replaced by skinny jeans and a long sleeve peach shirt with boots. She looks stunning.

I don't take my eyes off of her until I hear someone clear their throat. I look at Gabby who is now giggling. I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed that I was caught staring.  " What brings you here?" Gabby says while trying to hold a smile back.

Isabelle folds her arms, waiting for me to answer. I run my hand through my hair, suddenly feeling nervous under her intense gaze. " I wanted to check up on you and when I noticed you weren't here I decided to wait."

She nods her head and walks passed me.

" Gabby, can you give me and Seth a minute?" Gabby pouts. " Okay,  but you have to tell me all the details later. I'm heading home."

I have to refrain from letting out a sigh of relieve when she says that. I really didn't want someone to be the third wheel. When she leaves I turn to face Isabelle.  She is sitting on the edge of the bed and doesn't look up from the floor. I walk over and sit next to her.

" What did you want to talk about?" She ask, timidly.

" I know the last conversation we had was heated, and it was partially my fault." I say." I'm not trying to pressure you into telling me anything, but I want to know why it's so difficult for you to accept the fact that I want to be friends."

I take my eyes off the wall in front of me and train them on her. " What's keeping you away from me?" She bites the inside of her cheek nervously.

" Seth, I can't tell y-"

"Why?"

"I can't tell you why."

" Isabelle, I won't leave you alone unless you give me a good enough reason too." I state, matter of factly. " Just tell me the reason."

She looks up at me. I can see all the pain in her eyes as she decides if she's going to tell me or not. I really need her to say something so I can help her. All of this guessing is frustrating. It's so hard to read her.

" Okay, how about we take this one step at a time. Who gave you the bruise on your side the day I took you to the meadow?"

She fidgets with her fingers and takes a deep breath. " Some girls during soccer." She says quietly. I know she's not telling the whole truth. " Which girls? What are their names."

" I can't tell you that." She says defensively.

" Isabelle, I know who ever is doing this to you has got you too scared to speak up for yourself. But not speaking up is only going to make things worse. You're giving them power over you."

I can see something flash through her eyes when I say the last part. She lets out a shaky breath.      

 " Rosa, Diana and Beth."

I'm almost to shocked to say anything. She actually answered. I knew it had something to do with the cheerleaders. It doesn't surprise me that Rosa was their leader. " Thank God." I smile and rub my eyes from exhaustion.  " Has anyone ever told you that you're extremely stubborn?"

Isabelle scrunches up her nose, and playfully elbows me in the side. " Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying." I put my hand on my heart. "That hurts ."

"It better." She laughs lightly.

" See, wouldn't you miss these moments if you stopped talking to me?"

Her smile fades and I instantly regret saying that. " Yeah, I would." She looks me in the eyes. " What about me makes you want to keep coming back? Most people wouldn't bother."

My eyes soften at her words. " I'm not most people. Seeing you helps me remember there are people in this world that don't want to hurt anyone. " I say honestly. " I guess it's because you're real." 

We stare into each others eyes, neither one of us breaking eye contact. My eyes wander down to her lips that are covered in lip gloss, making them look even more irresistible.

 I lean in closer and for a second it looks like she's about to lean in too, but before I can close the gap, she turns away from me. Her face is a deep shade of red and her eyes are trained back on the floor. I mentally face palm before looking away.

What the hell was I thinking? I want to be her friend. Right? I don't have feelings for her. She probably thinks I'm an idiot. I laugh to cover it up, making her head snap towards me. " Gotcha, You should see the look on you're face." She looks confused for a second. 

" That was a joke?"  She questions. " Well good, cause I wasn't going to kiss you anyways." My smile is wiped off my face.

That stung. How can she not want to kiss me? I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but I'm a catch. For some reason I want her to want to kiss me. " So you wouldn't kiss me?" I smirk while leaning in closer. She backs away until her body is pressed against the bedpost. " No, I wouldn't." 

" Then why are you blushing?" I put one hand on the bedpost by her head and use the other one to steady myself. Her eyes stare into mine as I slowly close the gap between us. My brain can't keep up as I brush my lips onto hers. I smile against her lips when I see her shocked expression.

I pull away and twirl my finger around her hair. " So you wouldn't kiss me huh?" I get up off the bed. " If you didn't like it, I guess we could just be friends." I walk out of the room and leave her sitting there, frozen in place. But as soon as the door shuts behind me, It's like everything that happened hits me at once. 

What the hell was that? I have no idea what just came over me, but I can't say I regret it. I know for a fact now.

I want to be more than just friends.