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FOURTEEN NO MATTER WHAT
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"I did it," was all Helena spoke as a greeting once she walked up to her sister's room that same afternoon. The girl was laying on her bed with her laptop poised on her stomach, probably an old episode of Gossip Girl playing if she knew Hailey at all. The "Xoxo" was cut off as her sister paused it and sat up.
"Did what?" she asked, looking bored and irritated at having been interrupted. Well, she looked irritated until she noticed that her baby sister was most definitely about to burst into tears. Helena was really trying not to, but she couldn't help it.
She took a deep breath, trying to get herself to say the words out loud, "I broke up with JJ. Like, actually. He wanted us to get back together and I just couldn't do that to him."
"Oh, Hels," Hailey's expression instantly softened which was a weird but welcome change. Her sister had more or less kept her promise to stop being so evil all the time which Helena was actually grateful for. "When was this? What happened?"
"Like five minutes ago," she answered, slumping against the wall as she sat on the girl's bed, hugging her knees. "I knew I couldn't be the girlfriend he wanted me to be and I didn't wanna break his heart so I just... I just told him we should be friends. This is so stupid, I hate being mature, it's such a bummer."
"You don't have to make a joke out of his," Hailey muttered softly as she sat next to her sister with her back against the wall, "You're allowed to just... be sad about it. Even if it didn't end on awful terms, it still sucks to have something like that... be over. I know how you feel about him."
Helena scoffed, "You do? Because I sure as hell don't. I've never been more confused in my life. I want him, but I feel like he only thinks he wants me. As soon as he has me, I'm so scared he's gonna realize how terrible I really am. So I figured that I should just cut out the middle man, save both of us the pain. I don't know how to care about people, Hailey."
"You doing what you did just proves that you do," the girl countered, "Even if you're wrong, which, personally, I think you are, you still broke up with to shield him from what you feared would be an unhealthy relationship. I mean, it was already a little unhealthy considering you guys are like super in love with each other and keep pretending you're not, but whatever."
"I am not in love with him!" Helena exclaimed, scoffing in disbelief. She loved JJ and he meant a lot to her and always would, but that didn't mean she was in love with him. She just wanted the best for him and wanted him to be happy and maybe she wanted him to be happy with her, but that wasn't important because they could never work the way she wanted them to and -- "Holy shit, I'm in love with him."
