The Suggs

Chapter 55

"Morning!" I open my eyes a bit and find Joe filming me. "Joe!" I moan because of my headache and I roll on to my other side so I lay with my back towards Joe. "It's the first day of vlogmas!" He says enthusiastically.

"Why are you even awake before me?" I ask complainingly and hear him laughing. "Probably because we went to bed around half past 3 and you're not used to that." I nod a bit and pull the duvet higher.

Yesterday was a fun evening. I decided to drink and I have to admit, everything is a lot better then, but now I have a hangover and it sucks. "Kayla decided to drink yesterday and now her head hurts, doesn't it?" I nod and open my eyes a bit, trying to get used to the light. Yesterday everything was so much easier. I hated myself less than normal. Joe seemed to be happier with me. Even my weird habit of stressing out when he touched my bra or something wasn't there. Yesterday was better, but I felt less in love with Joe. Well not less in love, but it all felt less genuine and personal.

I roll out of bed and fall on the ground. "Au!" I hear him laughing a bit. I know Joe's still filming and a second later I see a camera just an inch away from my face. "You're being such a good boyfriend!" I remark and get up. "But I just.." He starts and I walk away quick. "No Joe, no excuses." I say teasingly and enter the bathroom to do my makeup.

I look to myself in the mirror. I hate what I get to see. My face looks even worse than it already was. I will try to fix it. As I'm doing my makeup I start thinking.
To be honest, I loved the past two days. Even though I had a breakdown and I behaved like the worst girlfriend in de world, Joe was lovely, as always. I think I might be the luckiest girl in this world. I just wish I had some luck with a prettier face and body.

"Kayla!" Caspar runs towards me and bumps into me. I barely saw him yesterday. He walks back and beckons me. I run towards him and he puts his hands on my hips and tries to lift me above his head. He's almost able to do it, but not fully. He puts me down and gives me a quick normal hug. Caspar is one of my favorite humans in this world. He pulls me back again and Joe looks at me. "You want to try that as well?" I say teasingly. Joe nods, what I didn't expect, and he gives the camera to Caspar. "Joe, you can't do this.. I don't want you to break your arms or something!"

Joe raises his eyebrows and tenses his arm muscles. I shock and I feel like I can't breathe for a moment. I shake my head a bit to stop myself staring at his arms. "I can do this. I've been working out more in the gym lately, remember that!" I roll my eyes. "Sure?" He nods and tries to convince me; "You're the smallest and thinnest person ever, come!" I run doubtfully to Joe, who puts his hands on my hips and starts lifting me. I see his muscles tensing and his concentrated face. I scream a bit when he actually managed to do it.

"You can put me down now!" I say quickly with a high pitched voice. He slowly puts me down on the ground and runs to the camera. "I'm stronger than you Caspar!" He tenses his muscles and I see Caspar rolling his eyes. "Yeah you can stop you bragger." I walk towards them and wait for Caspar to turn the camera off. Then I turn Joe around and as soon as he's turned around and push my lips against his. I feel tension in his face because he didn't expect it at all but then he relaxes and kisses me back. He steps closer to me and I need to look up more because he's still taller than me. We both pull back till we are an inch away from each other. I don't have a clue why I started this, but I loved it. "Yeah enough soft porn for me." Caspar remarks and we laugh without losing eye contact. Then we both pull back fully, Joe lets my waist go and I step back a bit. "Sure Caspar, soft porn, yeah sure."

Will, who I haven't seen since the first evening, sits quietly in the back of the car next to me. I look at him and I'm wondering where he has been yesterday. I look out of the window and get a bit surprised by hoe dark it is already. We're on our way back and I'm kinda tired.
"Are you going to stay over or would you like to sleep at your own place again?" I doubt. I love staying over at Joe's and Caspar's place, but I kinda want to go home and just have a relaxed evening with Zoe.

"I don't know, I think I rather want a chilled evening with Zoe tonight. I didn't have one in ages, as Troye, Connor and Tyler were there." Joe nods and winks quickly. "Sure, that's alright. I can't come over tomorrow but the day after maybe?" I nod quickly and smile. I love how Joe tries to be around as often as possible. "I would love you to come." I hate we live an our away from each other. I don't have a solution for that though.

I love Brighton and my friends live there - like Zoe, Max and Lia - but on the other hand Joe and Caspar live in London and I love the business of London and the feeling I get of it lately. I'm not going to make Zoe move to London, neither Caspar and Joe to Brighton. I could move to London without Zoe, but moving in with Joe is a bit too early, and I don't want to live on my own either.
The struggles.

"Bye!" I wave to Joe, Caspar and Will who are driving away again. I walk to the door to enter the apartment. I walk inside while looking at my phone. I walk through the corridor. Suddenly Zoe jumps on me and I give her quickly a hug. "Hi ya! I missed you!" I say and squeeze her a bit. I pull back and see her filming. "Why are you even vlogging?" I laugh and Zoe frowns. "It's the first of December silly!" She says like that explains everything, I still don't have a clue. She notices my face and laughs harder. "Vlogmas! Kayla, you're the worst!" I laugh and remember it finally. "Yeah, I knew that, uh kinda."

I walk away to put my stuff on my room. I'm not sure how happy I am with Joe AND Zoe both doing vlogmas. I have to think about it for a whole month like I need to look good every day as they both have a lot of subscribers who will all see me. I drop my stuff on the ground. I will get rid of that sometimes. I look at my phone and find a message of Connor.

Kayla! I just realized timezones are the worst things ever! ANYWAY, would you fancy skyping now? It's 10 am here, so that's alright! X

I quickly turn on my MacBook and reply Connor he has to get on his laptop right now. I smile a bit when I think about skyping Connor. We have skyped the day after he came home but then I stayed over at Joe and Caspar's place and then the festival, so we haven't had the opportunity to skype again.

"Connor?" I ask questionably and I hear some notices from my laptop. I wait for the connection to get better and I see Connor waving at me. I wave back and smile. "Hey Con! How is my favorite person ever doing?" He laughs and tells about his day and I kinda listen, but not really. I look at him, he's looking so happy with telling this all to me. I love Connor.

"Connor! I need to get food now," it's half past 9 already. "I would eat it here but I haven't seen Zoe in four days so I'm going to eat with her alright?" I wait for his answer and as soon he nods I start talking again. "It's was absolutely lovely to Skype with you again. I miss you Connor." I pull a sad face and he pulls a sad face back. "I miss you more. We will Skype soon again." He smiles and I nod while smiling as well. There's something about Connor what makes me smile every time I see him. I wave and we disconnect.

Call, 3h 54min 26sec.