Grease and Switchblades~ Book 1

What Almost Was

Elizabeth's point of view:
I woke up the next morning, holding Sodapop's body close to mine. I quickly let go and walked off. I got to the bathroom when Ponyboy stopped me from getting in. "You shouldn't even be here. You don't have to use all of the stuff in my own home." He said. I walked back to Sodapop who was still sleeping. I crawled back into the bed remembering what happened last night. The truth was that I heard Sodapop talking to me. I didn't want to say anything because it was awkward, so I just pretended to be asleep.
The weird part was that I had a special connection with Soda. He was like a brother to me after Steve died. I didn't know how to react to Soda, so I decided not to bring it up the rest of the day unless he did.
"Mornin'." Sodapop woke up. "Good morning." I answered him. "So, you're scared?" He asked. "Yeah, I'm scared that if I have this baby, if it is a baby, that I just, won't have anyone." I said. Sodapop hesitated to speak, "I-I would be there..." Sodapop trailed off. "Don't bring up last night." I said. "You heard that?" He asked. "Yeah, I didn't know what to say, so I just pretended to be asleep. I'm sorry, Soda." He sighed, "Thanks. What do, uh, what do you think?" He asked. "I-I don't know." I answered. "I need some air." I said as I stood up.
I walked out of the house, as soon as I sat down on the step I saw Dally. "I need to talk to you." He said. "But you don't love me." I said. "That's not true. It was in the moment, I'm just scared." Dallas Winston is never scared, so to hear him say that is something else. "I am too." I said. He came and sat down next to me. I scooted away from him. "What do you have to talk about?" I asked. "I can't raise a kid." He said. "Either can I, but I might." I answered. "Are you sure you're pregnant?" He asked. "I haven't had a doctors appointment yet." He pulled me closer to his body and put his arm around my shoulder. "Dal, I shouldn't." I said. "Please?" He asked. "Can we talk about something else?" I asked. "Yeah."
I smiled a little bit. "Pony called me a slut." I said. "I'm gonna kill him." He said. I tried to think if we were still together or not, "Are we still together?" Dally clenched his jaw, "Do you want to be?" I breathed in deeply, "Maybe." I stood up and looked at Dally. "I need to use the phone, I don't wanna stay here." I said. He nodded and we walked away.
We got to Buck's bar and walked inside. I saw Buck and tried to walk straight past him. I got up the stairs with Dally next to me, and we walked into his room. There were things scattered across the floor, almost as if they were thrown. "Oh, I'll clean this up." He said. I bent down and picked up a broken picture frame, "Our picture." I smiled weakly and looked at Dally. He walked over to me and grabbed it out of my hands. "Sorry." He said and walked away with it. He continued to pick up the random things on the floor. When he was finished he sat on the bed and sighed.
I walked downstairs, making sure Buck had gone somewhere else, and went to the phone. I called a doctor and made an appointment. He told me he could do it today, but in a couple of hours. I agreed and hung up the phone. I walked back up to Dally, still sitting on the bed. "I made the appointment." I said. "Good." He answered. "Do you hate me?" He asked. "No." I simply stated. He stood up to me and hugged me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nestled his chin in my neck. It felt so nice to be back in his arms. I stayed like that for a long time until Dallas pulled away.
We talked about how life would be with a child, if I would have the child or not, and our relationship. We spent hours talking. It was time for my doctor's appointment. "I have to go. I have my doctor's appointment." I said. "Ok. Want me to come with?" He asked. I shook my head and walked down the stairs. I saw Buck, "Hey. I wanna talk to you." He said. "I can't talk right now, Buck. I gotta go." I said. I walked out the door and onto the sidewalk. I walked to the doctor because it wasn't far. I got inside, told them my name and everything, then sat.
     I waited for a while until the nurse came out, "Elizabeth Williams?" I stood up quickly and looked at her. I followed behind her and she led me to a room. She handed me a cup, "Here. You pee in this and you'll get results in two weeks." I nodded and took the cup. She pointed to the bathroom and I walked to it. I peed in the cup, like she had instructed, and got out of the bathroom. I found her again and asked her where to put it. She told me what room, so I put it in the room and got out of the doctor's office. I was really nervous to see if I was pregnant or not, so nervous that I was shaking. I took deep breaths to calm myself down. I got back to Dallas and spent the night there.
~Two weeks later~
It was finally the time I would get the pregnancy test back. I waited by the phone patiently. Then I heard it ring. I quickly grabbed it before Dallas could, and sure enough, it was the doctor. "Hello?" I asked. "Hi, Ms. Williams?" I smiled, "That's me." I said. They continued on with their conversation, "So, the final results are that you are not pregnant." I scrunched my eyebrows, "Ok." If I wasn't pregnant, what was kicking me? "The kick you felt in your stomach was probably nerves." The woman said. I hung up the phone and look at Dallas. "Not pregnant." I said. "That's amazing." He picked me up and spun me around. He set me back down, still holding me. "Would you have been happy as a father?" I asked. Dallas lost his grip on the hug, "I don't think so." I started to get sad, tears welled in my eyes, "Were you actually going to stay if I was pregnant?"
     Dallas looked at me with soft eyes. "Of course not," I said. "Don't go," He said as I started to walk out of the door. "There's no reason for me to stay." I said. I walked out of the door and ran to Soda's house. I ran through the door, into his room. "Sodapop? Sodapop?" I cried out for him. I broke down on the bed after seeing him. "What's wrong, Lizzy?" He asked. "We're done." I answered, still crying.
     He held me in his arms as I cried into his lap. "It's ok. It's all going to be ok. Why did you guys break up?" He asked. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them quickly, "He doesn't want to be a father. I asked if he would have stayed with me and he said no." Sodapop rubbed my back, "Are you pregnant?" I shook my head. "The doctor said it was just nerves." I said. Sodapop got up, "I'm going to grab you a soda." He walked out of the room and I sat up in the bed. I straightened myself up and hugged my knees. Sodapop walked in and handed me a grape soda. "Thanks." I muttered. "No problem."
     I opened it and took a sip, "How are you not jumping up and down? Don't you like me?" I sniffled and tried to laugh a little. "Yeah, but I ain't gonna take this time to do that." He said. I nodded and drank my soda. "What if I want to talk about it?" I asked. "Ok." I sighed, "Do you love me?" I asked. "I do, but I can't make someone, who doesn't love me, feel the same way." He said. "How do you know I don't feel the same way?" I asked. "Do you?" I hesitated, "I don't know." I had no idea what to say to him. Did I love him and not realize it?
     "Soda, you're like a brother to me. I don't know if I can feel the same way." He clenched his jaw and started to stand up. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer to me. I grabbed the back of his neck with the other hand, then I kissed him. He kissed me back, then pulled away, "What was that?" I breathed in deeply, "I had to be sure I didn't feel the same way." Sodapop got off the bed and walked out the door. Did I feel the same way? The answer was yes. I loved Soda. How did I not realize this before? I walked out to see Ponyboy sitting on the couch. "What did you do to him?" He asked. "Nothing." I walked away, but Ponyboy grabbed my wrist. He pulled me into a hug, "I'm sorry. I was being a jerk and I didn't know how to react." He whispered this into my neck as we hugged. I got out of the hug and grabbed his shoulders, "Thank you." I walked out of the door to see Sodapop sitting on the metal bench.
     "Do you hate me?" I asked. "Do you love me?" He asked back. "Truthfully? Yeah." He bit his lip, "So, what does this mean?" I bit my lip as well, "What do you want it to be?" He stopped biting his lip, "I want you to be my girl." My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't deal with all of this right now, so I stood up. "I need a minute to think." I walked inside and sat on the couch with Pony, my soda still in my hand.
     "So, are you actually pregnant?" Pony asked. "No." He looked at me and I did the same. "Are you and Dallas still together?" He asked. "No." I answered again. "Do you miss me?" He asked. "Kind of. Not in a dating way, though. I miss you as a friend." I said. "Me too. Can we make a deal to be friends? That's it, just friends." I smiled and nodded. "So, tell me all the details." I said. "I don't know. Soda told me about this one girl. He talked about her a lot." He said. "Tell me about her." I said intrigued. "She has blonde hair, blue eyes, an- Oh no." I realized what he was talking about too. "It's you?" He asked. "I mean, I just learned this morning. I was going to sleep last night and he thought I was asleep. He told me he loved me." Ponyboy's jaw dropped, "Wow. He's never talked about anyone like that. Not even Sandy." I was so confused. How did I not realize this before?