BREAK THE WALL | JENLISA, CHAESOO

Chapter 11

After arriving at the building where Rosé lived, Jisoo called for a taxi and both girls were waiting for the cab to arrive.

"Stop that." Rosé said, it was more a plea than an order.

"Stop what?" Jisoo asked, surprised.

"You keep thinking how to help me financially, I can almost hear your brain churning."

The brunette's mouth dropped. How did she know that!?

"I'm really grateful that you want to help, but I'll never let myself take advantage of it."

"Why not?"

"Come on, you wouldn't accept help if you were in my position, would you?"

She was right, the brunette had to admit that she wouldn't. "I admire you for being this proud." Jisoo said. "I'm so glad that we've become friends." she added, expecting to see a smile on Rosé's face but it was nowhere to be found. Even worse, her eyes became slightly melancholic as she bit her lip anxiously. "Oh, I'm sorry I assumed that we are... I shouldn't have-" she started explaining but Rosé interrupted her.

"I'd like us to be friends too, but... it's just impossible. Don't you see it?" she whispered sadly.

"Why? Because of the money thing?"

"It's not that simple Jisoo, you can't just brush that aside and forget about it. We live in completely different worlds, worlds separated by an unbreakable wall. Yours is the one with limousines, servants, shopping at Dior... You are a millionaire... And me? I have to count money at the end of each month to make sure I have enough to buy food."

"It's true, I admit, but it doesn't mean we can't-"

"Just think about it. For example, if I ask you about your last holidays, what would you tell me?" Rosé asked and Jisoo fell silent. "You probably spent it on a cruise on your parents' luxurious yacht which costs more this this entire building that I live in. And you don't want to tell me that, because you're afraid to hurt my feelings. That's what I'm talking about, because of our money situation we wouldn't be able freely talk about simple things, we wouldn't be able to do things real friends do..."

The worst realization for Jisoo was that her rational mind knew that what Rosé was saying was true. Her heart desperately wanted to protest, but it couldn't find any arguments.

"What if we decide to go shopping together?" Rosé continued. "Where would we even go?"

"We don't have to do shopping together-"

"Fine, so let's say we decide to buy each other birthday gifts. Imagine how I'd feel knowing that your other friends bought you expensive presents and I wouldn't be able to. Can you imagine that? It would be crushing for me, things like that would slowly destroy me and our friendship. And we could be naive and pretend that money doesn't matter and all this stuff, but deep inside I'd always feel that... that I'm not enough."

The brunette was left speechless, quiet sniffing was the only sound she was making.

"Right now I accept things the way they are: you're rich, I'm poor and it's fine..." Rosé went on, "but I'm afraid that if we spend more time together I'll gradually become envious, maybe even bitter and I can't let that happen. You're so great Jisoo, getting to know you made me happy and I'm glad we had the chance to meet. But sometimes it's better to end things early... because later it can be too painful."

"If this is what you really want..." Jisoo's words were barely audible.

"This isn't what I want, this is the smart thing to do. And you know it too."

Jisoo nodded resignedly, just when the taxi stopped next to them.

"Good night." she said faintly, not even daring to look Rosé in the eyes and climbed inside the car.

"Good night." Rosé whispered when the taxi was already disappearing in the distance.

The first thing she saw after opening the door to her apartment were Irene and Seulgi making out on the couch.

"It's not what it looks like!" Irene jumped up, her cheeks bright red.

"We were just... watching a movie." Seulgi added, rather unconvincingly.

Rosé wasn't in the mood for teasing them so she didn't even bother to comment. Walking past them without saying a word, she closed the door to her room and curled up on her bed in a fetal position. Clenching her fists, her mind repeated feverishly:

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry..."

Light spasms were running through her body but she managed to hold back tears. Then she heard the knock and Irene came inside, looking worried. Seulgi followed her, asking:

"Are you okay Rosie? What's wrong?"

"Why does life has to be so unfair?" The silver-haired girl grumbled and began telling them what had happened.

"I know it hurts, but you did the right thing." Seulgi said and Irene agreed by nodding. "Did you want to be just friends with her or..."

"Did you hope for something more?" Irene finished the question.

"I... don't know, I've never met anyone like her." Rosé confessed. "It doesn't matter now anyway."

Seulgi's face turned serious as her gaze seemed to linger in the distance. "You know Rosie, I'm a little older than you and life has taught me many times that you can't be naive or you'll suffer. All this talk how 'money doesn't matter' or that 'you should follow your dreams' or that 'love conquers all' is just wishful thinking that people tell themselves to feel better. It sometimes works if you're lucky, but it's really, really rare. Real life simply isn't like that, if you believe in these things, it's fine, but there's a good chance you'll be hurt. At least from my experience. So you made the right decision, Jisoo and you live in totally different worlds, it would have never worked out."

"I'm sorry, I know it's not what you'd like to hear, but I think so too." Irene agreed, caressing Rosé's arm. "You still have us, always remember that."

"I know, thank you." Rosé replied and then her eyes widened as if she had remembered something important. "Please don't talk to anyone about this, not even Lisa."

"Not even Lisa? Why?"

"Just don't. Please."

"Of course." Irene promised, sending a confused glance at Seulgi, whose eyes were equally perplexed.