Stand by me (Jjba X Reader)

A million nerves and you get on every last one (Prosciutto)

He wasn't sure who started it or why it happened. Maybe because you were too Chaotic or maybe Prosciutto just had an entire flag pole up his ass. Either way watching two petty ass people fight a cold war was nothing but pure entertainment! Well it was if you were Illuso.

It started about a week ago,you were both arguing over something,he couldnt remember what, and that led to you both being cold to each other.

Until you started fucking around with him.

Illuso had been in the kitchen when it happened you were drinking some soup,nothing strange about that. Prosciutto had came in as well,looking for some ice cold water to drink when you made a rather loud slurping sound. As per human nature both men looked at you slurp loudly on your...were you eating soup with a fork?

"___,what in gods name are you doing?" The blond hissed,clearly annoyed.

"Hmm? I'm just eating some chicken noodle soup whats the matter?"

"You know good and damn well 'what the matter is'!"

Illuso hid his smile behind his cup of juice.

"I dont know what your talking about"

And the blond left,cigarette in hand and you with a very pleased look on your face.

The next time he was caught in their cross fire was when he needed a new bowl and noticed that they were all dirty,which was odd. The only things they ever really used were plates and cups so why-?

"Morning Illuso"

"Hey,do we have any- oh my god" you were drinking your coffee out of a bowl and had your oatmeal in your mug.

"Hmm?" You were acting like this was completely normal.

"___,have you seen my-" Prosciutto came into the kitchen and made a face,"Its been a week are you still not over it?"

"What ever do you mean?" You turned to him.

"You get on ever last nerve in my body" his hissed.

"Love you too"

Guess that means they stop arguing, but that didn't stop you from being petty,illuso liked that about you.

The following day he came across you and Formaggio eating cereal on the couch with Prosciutto sandwich in-between the two of you which would been fine had you both not been eating cereal off glass plates,you know like a bunch of animales.

He could the urge the smack the both of you silly rising which was so damn funny.

"Oi,___,give me a bite" he leaned over your shoulder.

"Fine,say 'Ahh!'" You scooped a few fruit loops onto your butter knife and offer it to him while Formaggio offered him a spatula with frosted flakes on them.

"Oh hey,does anyone want some spaghetti?" Melone asked,eating it with his bare fucking hands like a cave man.

Illuso tried not to bust out laughing as he crunched on fruitloops and frosted flakes. Thats when Risotto came in with two cups of something. Illuso looked at you,he knew that face,how in the seven layers of hell did you managed to rope Risotto of all people into your scheme?!

"Prosciutto," Your capo started.

"Thank God for someone normal,Yes Risotto?"

The massive man offered the blond one of his cups,"Do you want some Boneless ice?"

"I-" Prosciutto stood up and leaned menacingly over you as you continued eating your plate cereal with a butter knife," This is your fault!"

"I don't know what your talking abou-HEY!" the blond snatched you up and left for one of the extra rooms in the back of the hideout.

"Illuso laughed,"Capo, what did it take for you to say that?"

Risotto didn't say anything but the brunette could see his capo's dimples from behind his cup.

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It was a good hour before Prosciutto was done with you. He lit another cigarette and rested on his back with you cuddled up to his chest. Cigarette in one hand and the other behind his head. You drew random shapes on his bare chest,pouting.

"You didn't have to do it so hard you know"

"Then stop acting like a fucking brat," he took a drag," the hell were you thinking? Telling melone to eat spaghetti with his hands like that,I ought to age your pussy off,make it dusty as hell..."

You curled up closer to him,"Try it and I'll bit your nipple off"

"Tch" you could tell he didn't mean it.

"Hey before I got to sleep I need to tell you something before I go to bed"

He looked at you.

"A straw has one hole"

"IT DOES NOT-"

"Goodnight Pro!"