Alexandra Hamilton

Stay Alive

Alexandra's POV

Stay alive. Stay alive.

That's what Elijah said to me before I left. I was confident at first, but now I'm burnt out and miserable.

I have never seen the General so despondent. I have taken over writing all his correspondence. Congress writes, George! Attack the British forces! I shoot back, We have resorted to eating our horses. Local merchants deny us equipment and assistance. They only take British money, so sing a song of six pence.

Washington staggers into the room. "Cavalry's not coming." He pants.

"But sir-"

"Alex, listen. There's only one way for us to win this. Provoke outrage... outright."

"That's right." I say and nod understandingly.

Washington makes his way towards the desk and begins to form a new plan. "Don't engage. Strike by night. Remain relentless 'til their troops take flight."

"Make it impossible to justify the cost of the fight." I finish his thought for him. I look over his shoulder to see the new battle strategies that he's writing down.

"Outrun," he mumbles.

"Outrun."

"Outlast," he becomes more tense with every word he speaks.

"Outlast."

"Hit 'em quick, get out fast."

"Chick-a-plao!"

Washington chuckles at my attempt at humor. "Stay alive until this horror show is past." And he looks at me with fearful anticipation. "We're gonna fly a lot of flags half-mast."

I spend that night with Lafayette, Mulligan and Laurens. Ever since the war started we've called each other by our surnames. It's more professional. "Raise a glass." We all say. It's our last night together before Mulligan goes back to New York and his apprenticeship. And the whiskey doesn't distract from the thought that I may never see him again.

Lafayette has asked for French aid. We pray that France has sent a ship. Because otherwise we'll all starve to death.

Laurens stays at work with me as we write essays against slavery. And every day's a test of our camaraderie and bravery. We cut supply lines, we steal contraband, we pick and choose our battles and places to take a stand. And every day, I practically beg the General, "Sir, entrust me with command." And every day...

"No." He dismisses me out of hand.

Instead of me, he promotes Charles Lee. He makes him second in command. When he heard the news, he shouted, "I'm a General! Wheee!" How childish. The British don't need to attack us. Being in proximity to Lee, we'll die of embarrassment first. Putting it lightly, he's not the choice I would've gone with. He shits the bed at the Battle of Monmouth!

"Everyone attack!" Washington commands.

"Retreat!" Lee cowers behind his horse.

"Attack!" Washington yells again, louder.

"Retreat!" Lee shrieks. We're getting destroyed because of him!

"What are you doing, Lee!? Get back on your feet!" Washington screams at him.

"But there's so many of them!" Lee whines. Honestly, are we supposed to answer to this guy?

"I'm sorry, is this not your speed!?" Washington berates the General. "Hamilton!"

"Ready sir!" I perk up.

"Have Lafayette take the lead!" He tells me.

It sucks, but I reply with, "Yes sir!"

A thousand soldiers die in 100° heat as we snatch a stalemate from the jaws of defeat. Charles Lee was left behind without a pot to piss in. He started saying this to anybody who would listen:

"Washington cannot be left alone to his devices! Indecisive from crisis to crisis!" Oh, the hypocrisy. "The best thing he can do for the revolution is turn and go back to planting tobacco in Mt. Vernon."

I've had it with this man. I insist on punishing him, but Washington is against it. "Don't do a thing. History will prove him wrong."

"But sir!" I don't understand how he can be so calm about this.

"We have a war to fight. Let's move along." And I can tell he means it. And I reluctantly leave it at that.

Joan was furious when I told her what Washington said. "Strong words from Lee! Someone oughta hold him to it!"

"I can't disobey direct orders." I sigh.

"Then I'll do it." I can tell she's being serious. "Alexandra, you're the closest friend I've got." She brings me into a tight embrace for the first time since the wedding.

"Laurens," I feel like it's been so long since we've truly connected. God, I wish I could love her the way I love Elijah. "do not throw away your shot."