Blank Slate Kate

Chapter 4

After a few moments of staring uncertainly at each other on the sidewalk, Jake says, "Well, I guess we should get you some clothes." His eyes skim over me. "I think you're about the same size as my friend Hannah, so I'll give her a shout and see if she'll lend you some."

He fiddles with his phone and I wonder what he's going to say to explain all this to Hannah. He apparently doesn't know either, because when she answers he just says, "Look, are you busy? I have someone I'd like you to meet."

She can't see us for an hour, so he takes me to McDonald's for a late lunch. I'm surprised to see a chicken sandwich on the menu when they never had one before but excited to try it, and amused by his amusement at my excitement, so we have a fun lunch then head over to Hannah's apartment.

A woman with long straight blonde hair and blue eyes, indeed about my size, opens the door for us and blinks at me. "Jake?"

"I think you'll need to be sitting down for this one," he says with a wry smile at me, and Hannah is soon listening to my bizarre story with increasing surprise and confusion. Jake tells most of it, but I fill in some of the details and tell my side of the police interrogation. When we finish, Jake says, "So I was hoping maybe you could lend her some clothes."

She looks even more shocked, and he says quickly, "Or take her shopping if that's better."

"No, I can probably find something. She's a bit smaller than me, though," she says with her eyes fixed to my chest.

I push it up and out a bit, trying to be subtle. I'd thought when I was an adult I wouldn't have to deal with mockery for my less-than-ample bust any more.

"Thanks so much," Jake says, not seeming to notice where she's looking. "I'll wait here."

Hannah shakes her head at him, her face twisting into a reluctant smile. "It's a good thing you're so cute, Jake. That's all I can say."

He laughs. Her tone was joking but I'm pretty sure she means it. Hannah has the hots for my rescuer.

Jealousy sweeps me, surprising me. What do I care? He's not mine, after all, and to me he still seems way too old to ever be mine. I know I'm older than he is, but I still don't quite feel that way.

Hannah stands up and says, "Come on, Kate," and I try to push away my feelings as I follow her down the hall.

She pulls some jeans and a few sweaters from her dresser, along with a couple of t-shirts, then calls back to Jake, "Closing the door now. Behave yourself out there."

Once the door's closed, she turns to me, her blue eyes turning glacier-cold in a second. "What's your game?"

I blink. "Nothing. What he said."

"Jake's sweet but he's a sucker. I'm not. Tell me what you're up to."

"Nothing!"

She shakes her head and moves closer. "I don't buy it. You show up out of nowhere, get him dragged in by the cops, and now you're living with him and he needs me to give you clothes? You're scamming him. This amnesia stuff is bullshit."

I stare at her, searching for words, but none come. I can't take it. I have to get out of here. I'm beyond thought. I just have to go.

I turn on my heel and race down the hall, past Jake before he can move, and out the apartment door.

*****

Jake catches up with me about a block down the street. When he reaches me, he takes a firm but not painful grip on my arm and draws me to a halt. "What happened? Where are you going?"

Beats me. I turn to face him, looking into his confused eyes, and try to catch my breath. I was on the track team in high school but it feels like I haven't run much since. Eventually I'm able to say, "I'm bad for you."

He still looks confused, then his eyes soften and he says, his tone making it clear he pretty much knows already, "What did Hannah say?"

I sigh. "That's what she said. I'm bad. I got you in trouble and she doesn't trust me. She thinks I'm making it up."

Jake strokes his fingers lightly over my cheek and to my surprise heat washes through me. I've got next to no sexual experience, at least not that I remember, but his caress is awakening my body to what it might have been missing. I remember feeling turned on by my first kiss, from Drew Keating behind the school a few months ago, but this feels different, deeper and stronger and more grown-up somehow.

"I believe you, Kate," he says softly, the words slipping through the unexpected sensations. "I do."

I take a deep breath and push away my sudden hunger for him. "Really?"

He nods. "If only because it's too weird a story to make up."

I smile, then shiver. I took off without the coat Jake lent me and March in Toronto isn't exactly balmy.

Jake tugs off his jacket and drapes it around my shoulders, then lays his arm over the jacket. "Come on. Let's go back. I'll take care of Hannah. And of you."

I don't want to. Seeing Hannah again doesn't appeal, and a part of me wants to run and run and run forever. I don't know what it wants to run from, or where it wants to go, but it's loud and insistent.

But also wrong. I can't run. Where would I go? I don't know anyone in this new world but Jake. On my own last night I got robbed, got beat up, and got myself into a make-out session with two guys at the bar. I clearly can't roam around Toronto alone looking for something to trigger my memories. I need Jake to keep me safe and protected.

I sigh, let him guide me back toward Hannah's apartment, and make a decision. I will not leave Jake until I know who I am. No matter how much I want to run.