Blank Slate Kate

Chapter 28

I'm stunned, both by how our relationship has changed in just a few moments and by how adamant he is. I love him. He loves me. But he won't do anything about it because he promised to be faithful to someone else.

I try to make him see that I am the person who received that promise, but he won't budge. I don't remember Donna's life, so I'm not Donna. I'm Kate.

He has a point. And yet, if we love each other...

Finally, frustrated, I say, "Do you want me to pretend to remember?"

I expect a sharp retort back, but to my surprise he considers it.

I stare at him, and he says, "No, of course not."

"Then why'd you think about it for so long?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. I just want what's best for you."

Loving a man who's committed to someone else can't be what's best for me, but it's where I am. "If I did pretend..."

He shakes his head again. "No. You surprised me, that's all. Besides, it couldn't work. You'd never be able to fake every last detail of her life and that's what it'd take to be her."

"Yeah."

We sit silently for a moment, then he says, "Hungry?"

I nod. Hungry and sad and still a little turned on by our kiss. But one thing at a time.

We leave the office and head down the street to a small coffee shop. Since we're having a late lunch the place is nearly empty, so we're quickly handed our sandwiches and coffee by the cheerful black lady behind the counter. She gives me a friendly smile and says, "Haven't seen you for a while. I'm glad you're all right."

I smile back. "I've been... out of town. But everything's great."

"Good stuff," she says, and slips two free cookies onto our tray with a grin. "This'll make sure you come back."

We thank her and Ryan takes the tray to a table at the back. Once we're settled and the cashier's back at work, I say softly, "I feel like I'm visiting. Everywhere I go. I hate it."

He gives my hand a squeeze. "I have tried, but I can't imagine what you're going through. I wish I could make it all better."

"I know." Of course, for him 'all better' is probably having me wake up tomorrow as Donna, and that thought scares me. Where does Kate go if Donna comes back?

"Donna!"

I look up to see a dark-haired woman, thin as a diet cracker, waving at me.

"Karen, from your charity group," Ryan mutters as I wave back. "She knows you've been in Toronto."

I glance at him, surprised since I thought he wasn't telling anyone where I was or what had happened, but don't have time to ask since she's hurrying over.

"Donna, how are you?" Without waiting for an answer, she says, "Everything worked out okay with that client, I hope?"

I nod, glad she was clear enough I could tell Ryan had used the same cover story with my charity friends as with my employees and clients. "It was tough for a while, but it's straightened out."

She pulls over a chair and sits at our table. "Glad to hear it. Now, who was it?" She nudges Ryan. "This guy was so secretive I know it must have been someone majorly famous. I have to know."

I make myself grin at her. "Won't be in business long if I name people who need my help that badly."

We all laugh and she says, "I suppose not. Are you back in Ottawa for good now?"