Blank Slate Kate

Chapter 35

I wake up the next morning filled with a sense of purpose. Ryan kept the baby a secret from me because he thought that would be better. He and I had agreed not to tell the people at my company about my amnesia for the same reason. But he'd been wrong, and maybe we were wrong too. I don't want to hide any more. No more secrets.

I shower and put on a business-like black skirt of Donna's and a pink sweater I bought with Hannah and twist up my now mostly blonde hair, then put on a bit of makeup and stare at myself in the mirror. Do I look like a CEO? I suppose I must, since I am one.

I arrive at MMC at around eleven, and the receptionist looks up then gives a startled squeak. "Ms. Merrill! I didn't expect you. Did I?"

I smile at her. "No, don't worry. I'd like to meet with everyone, though. Is that possible?"

"Of course. A few people are out with clients, though. Should I call them back?"

I start to say not to bother, then reconsider. It might be good to have everyone together at once. "Do you know, is there a time today when everyone will be in?"

She turns to her computer and does some fast clicking and typing, then says, "I see everyone free in the Toronto office at two o'clock, and most people in Vancouver and Ottawa. Do you want them involved too? We could conference them in. Would that work for you?"

"Certainly. Could you make sure the Toronto ones know to be here? The ones who are out at the moment, I mean?"

She looks at me quizzically. "Once I add the appointment to the system, they'll know right away. It sends alerts to their phones."

"Right, of course." I make myself smile. "That's one of the things we need to discuss at the meeting." The fact that I know nothing about how this company works.

She's still confused, and understandably so, but she's a professional so she gives me a calm smile and says, "I'll add it right now and we'll see you at two."

"Thanks," I say, and head out wondering what I'll do with myself for three hours. I called this morning to make an appointment with Doctor Ferraro but she's booked solid today so I won't see her until Monday. I could go home but there's not really anything to do there either.

In the end, I walk the city. I've grown to love Toronto in my time here and yet there are so many areas I haven't seen. I cruise around, watching the people and buildings I pass and trying to get my head around everything I've learned, until I find myself outside a private school as the students pour out and head for lunch at the nearby fast food joints.

Three girls pass me. A tall blonde, a short red-head, and one with a vibrant purple streak in her long dark hair. "I'm fifteen, for God's sake," the purple-haired one says dramatically as they go by. "Why can't my mother see I'm grown up and get out of my way?"

Dizziness sweeps me and I have to sit on a bench before I collapse. Fifteen. Grace is only a year younger than these girls, who do in fact look grown up. Of course they're not, but they've got women's bodies now. Women's bodies, but still girls' minds. Exactly how Donna was when she conceived Grace.

Grace. It's even possible that one of the other two girls is Grace. Highly unlikely, of course, but it could be. My daughter might have just walked past me and I'd never know.

How did Donna live with that, all those years? How did Ryan live with it once he knew his wife had a child?

I sit on the bench watching until the students have dispersed, then pull out my phone. There has to be a way to make Bubbly Words let me in. There just has to. I need answers.

Once I type in the number code again, the game cheerfully greets Donna then sits there unresponsive. I've tried everything I can think of in the days since I made it this far but I can find no way to get further. Bubbly Words is blocking me. It's in my way just like the purple-haired girl's mother.