Blank Slate Kate

Chapter 34

"What did he say?" Ethan's eyes meet mine as I take my seat, and my expression must answer his question because he murmurs, "Dear God."

"Yeah."

We sit in silence for a long moment before he says, "Are you willing to tell me about it?"

I look up, surprised. "Of course. She's your niece, after all."

He shakes his head slowly. "A girl. I have a niece. You have a daughter. I can't get my head around it."

I give a grim laugh. "Trust me, you're not the only one."

"So how did he know about it? I can't believe she told him."

"She didn't. They were trying to have a baby themselves, as I'm sure you knew."

"Nope."

I stare at him, surprised, and he says, "I figured they probably would eventually but no, I didn't know they were actively... you know."

I'm still surprised that Donna kept it a secret from her own brother, her only living family, but I go on. "It wasn't happening for them, and some idiot nurse at the fertility clinic they went to said something about secondary infertility. Ryan asked what that meant and she said--"

"It's about not being able to get pregnant a second time."

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Coworker of mine's going through it now. It's terrible."

"I bet. Anyhow, that's how Ryan found out Donna already had a child. Her doctor knew about it and must have included it in her file when he sent them to the clinic."

"Didn't Donna realize Ryan would find out?"

"I asked that. He said she told him she'd asked to have a note put in her file that her husband didn't know but that either didn't happen or the nurse missed it."

He winces. "Hell of a way to find out."

Especially when you thought you and your wife were both having sex for the first time on your wedding night. Donna had stolen that moment from Ryan, and I'd heard the pain in his voice as he said, "I couldn't believe she'd kept something so important from me. She knew how I felt about it. I'd thought she felt the same way but apparently not."

To Ethan, I say, "Yeah. I think it really upset him."

"Well, obviously. So then what?"

"I guess he gave her a pretty hard time about it. About keeping it from him and all that."

Ryan had actually said, "I told her I didn't know who she was any more. And she said she didn't either." I wasn't going to tell Ethan, because I didn't think it mattered, but suddenly I do tell him because Donna was his sister and he deserves to know.

He flinches. "She built her life, her adult life anyhow, on being upright and moral. The--" He stares at me. "The teen abstinence thing. Ryan must have been so confused."

I nod. "He said he challenged her on that too and she said, 'Who better than me to know how bad it is for teens to have sex?'"

Ethan grimaces. "I guess so. Does he have any idea where the baby ended up?"

"I asked him every way I could think of and he said no every time. Donna wouldn't tell him much. She didn't want to talk about it, didn't even want to think about it. She was terrified, though, that she'd come home one day and find her on the doorstep."

Shaking his head, my brother says, "I had no idea. All those times I saw her, and I had no idea she was dealing with all that. She must have been torn right down the middle over it all."