Sons Of Anarchy.We All Fall Down . .

One-Shot. Let Her Go.

♠Authors note.♠  SONS OF ANARCHY ONE SHOT! (This has nothing to do with my main story it is just a random one shot.)

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'You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies."

(Third person.)

She watched her mama leave her before her eyes. Her mother didn't pack bags, argue, slam things, or throw things. She took one thing; her last breath. It wasn't a murder or suicide, it was breast cancer. At seventeen she watched her mother take her last breath in a hospital. Her father and her holding her mother hands. She knew this day would come, she just didn't know how fast it would come.

'At least mama went peacefully,' Phoebe Mathews always thought.

She would always tell herself that every night to hide the guilt. Her Papa and Mama where always low on cash but they always seemed to get her things. When the hospital bills started to add up, she knew that her parents were struggling. There was always money going out and no money coming in. Papa always tried to give Mama money for chemotherapy but the last three times we weren't able too.

Now a year later her father had told her he had lung Cancer. He broke the news at their favorite spot, Mitch Lake. They were both fishing and he slowly broke it down for her. Phoebe than decided right there and than, they would never be low on money. Her Papa will get the treatment he needs.

And that's where this story begins;

(First person.)

Dear Mama,

I don't know if your watching me right now, but if you are I'm sorry. I lost you too something that I thought we were going to be able to cure. So many people told me to be ready when you leave and if I had started to accept the fact that you would be gone, it'd be easier. They were liars. It doesn't feel good no matter where ya go or what you do. How can it be so easy for someone to die? I never understood how someone so smart, beautiful, caring, and wonderful just leaves this earth. You fought to your last month and than I saw you slowly giving up. I didn't want to yell at you because of your health. So I kept this all in. My therapist tells me to write you letters on how I feel about your death. Don't know what good it'll do, but to shut him up, I'm doing it.

How could you have given up so easily? You fought this thing for so long and than one day you just stopped. Didn't you hear me praying every night? Telling god to take it away. Didn't you want to make it to my graduation? Or my seventeenth birthday? Or my first date? My wedding?

You were suppose to be there for everything. There was so many firsts that I need you for. Everyone told me it'd be easier over time. Its been a year, two months, and seven days. They lied, again. So now I stopped listening to my doctors, who give me pills to sleep better at night. I stopped listening to my teacher who tries to give "advice". I stopped listening to my therapist who just sits there and tries to " out due my stubbornness". We both know no one could do that.

I visit your grave and just lay down with my head on your headstone. You may have heard me pray to you from time to time but one day I just stopped. Sorry , Mama but I'm just hollow right now.

I'm just tired of feeling so helpless with Papa. He has lung cancer. I don't think he's going to live much longer. We both feel it. We can just tell. Yesterday we went to the doctors office and I had to be excused from the office. But I listened outside of the door. Papa says he won't be able to do the chemotherapy. He wants it, we just don't have the money. The doc keeps saying he would help us financially but I don't know.