Sons Of Anarchy.We All Fall Down . .

43. As a Family

Uncle Elvis was now slumped up against the side of the bar, a drop of drool slipped from the corner of his mouth. Mom was abled to get the pieces of metal out of his arm and stitched him up. With a little bit of alcohol in him, he didn't even feel the needle sliding in and out of his skin. 

After Clay ripped open the doors and stomped down the hall, I realized my father was still inside the room. His head was bowed and his hands were clutched tightly around the wooden chair. With courage, I stepped forward and leaned against the door. 

The room was mostly all brown, a few pictures hung on the wall and with the blinds closed the only lighting was the long light that hung over the table. A Reaper, like the one on their back was carved into the table. Nine chairs were the only thing occupying it.

"You okay?" I finally decided too break the silence. He turned around and stood taller. 

He walked forward and placed his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, baby girl. I'm alright." 

"You sure? Grumpy Gills over there looks a little less . . .happy." 

He smirked as Clay walked towards Uncle Bobby. "Don't worry, darlin."

I scoffed as we made our way towards the bar. "Its my job too worry." Speaking of worrying, Gemma came around the corner.  I winced quietly as the gash on her face was now bandaged up. I remember hearing the slap against her face, her pleas. 

Dad waved a hand in front of my face. Finally, I was able to snap out of it before my head began to pound as all the memories floated back. "You okay, Bug?" 

I shook my head as I rubbed my temples. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good." Gemma made her way into the kitchen and closed the door. I barely talked too her since the accident. How was she doing? Was she really okay? My father must of seen what I was looking at and sighed. "She's gonna be okay, right?" 

"She's tough as nails. It'll take more than a car crash too take that women down." He nudged my shoulder and smirked. "Kind of like another girl I know." I faked a smile and continued too stare at the closed door. He must of sensed my unease and threw his arm around my shoulder. He then turned my body and we both continued too walk towards the entrance of the clubhouse. "Really, Wen. She's gonna be okay." 

I nodded, trying too be as believable as possible. "Yeah. Queen of Charming is a hard person too take down." 

My Dad pushed open the door, while he held it open for me. I walked through it and stood still as he closed it. "So is the princess. " He winked. 

I scoffed as we walked towards the shop. "I thought the princess was mom?"

 I didn't know what exactly my parents were. But one thing was for sure - they loved each other. It was a kind of love that was strong but complicated. It was complicated because my mom wanted stability and she wanted too be able to trust her partner. She wanted all these things but when it came down too it, Dad would be the one she always picked. 

On the other hand - Dad knew what he wanted. He knew how his life was. There was no shock too it. He wanted my mother, Abel, and I in his life. He wanted to be able to come home after the chaos and the mess from the clubhouse and be able too smile without force. He wanted too be strong, not just for himself but for this family. He wanted the life of a 9-5 man but he also craved the danger that came from his life. 

The chaos he lived was a drug. No matter how much my father wanted too stop doing what he was doing, he would always come back too this life. It was inevitable. It was in his blood. Fuck, it was in mine. 

I understood the dreadful pull the life had. It pulled me in multiple directions. I had too decide what I wanted and who I wanted too have in my life. I was already a murder at such a young age.. what did this mean for me in the end? When did my sins finally catch up too me? Would it effect my family? 

Dad pulled open the door and led me inside before pulling me into a small hallway with the fire escape. He inclined his head forward while flourishing a hand towards the top of the stairs. "After you, princess." 

I rolled my eyes and began to climb. "I'm no princess. If anyone knows that, it should be you." I pushed open the latch and climbed through. 

"Trust me, I know." He grunted as he climbed after me. "You are my kid after all." 

I pushed the hairs that blew out from my braid behind my ears as my father hauled himself through the small opening. I chuckled as he huffed, almost out of breath, and closed the door. "What's the matter old man? Getting a little wear and tear on the ol' bones?" I teased. 

He scoffed at me and pulled me down too sit on the door with him. "Please. I could out run you any day." 

"That a bet old man?" 

I laughed as he playfully pushed me off the door. "Watch it or I'll sick your mother on you." After I repositioned myself back on the metal hatch, he threw his arm back around me. 

We sat in silence. The only thing occupying us was the stars and the moon. Sometimes the wind would blow and it sent a shiver down my spine. My Dad, of course, was absolutely fine. It was nice - the two of us. Just sitting. 

Finally, I blew out a breath that must have brought my Dads attention too me. He ran his hand up and down my arm in a comforting manner. "You okay, Kiddo?" 

Was I okay? No not really. I wanted too tell him everything that happened that night. No I wasn't okay that my grandmother made sure I was not harmed. I wasn't okay that I watched Gemma get raped and beaten in front of my eyes. I was far from being okay. But me being me - a Teller - I lied.

"Yeah." I was able to speak. My eyes watched as the stars twinkled against the black sky. "Can I ask you a question without you lying too me?" He arched an eyebrow and nodded for me to continue.  I looked him in the eyes and mustered up the courage to speak again. "Did. .."I sighed and glanced down at my hands. "Do you want me? Here? In Charming?" 

"Where is this coming from?" He questioned as his jaw tightened in anger. 

I shrugged. I honestly didn't have an answer for him. It was just a random thought that had sprung from my head. "I don't know. I just feel like maybe sometimes you wished I wasn't here. That it was just Abel and Mom. It's probably me just overthinking but. . ." 

"Alright." He pulled his arm away and made me turn to him. "I want you to listen too me and listen good, alright? You are the greatest surprise I ever had in my entire life. I was scared at first when your Mom told me about you but the more I look at you, the more time I spend with you, the more I see myself in you. You, Winnie, are my greatest accomplishment. Your Mom took you away because she knew what life I lived. She molded you in a perfect, young women, and that scares me." 

"Why does that scare you, Dad?" I whispered against the wind. My heart was beating loudly and if it wasn't for the music that blasted from the clubhouse I was sure my father could hear it. 

"Because I know how strong you are. You made decisions no teenage should have ever had to make. You already survived so much in only such a short amount of time. You are a beautiful and strong. What scares me is . . . is you growing up. You're gonna grow up too quickly because of the life I live. This life - it's going to teach you how too live on your own. My fear is you growing up and not needing me or your mother no more."

My mind began to race at my fathers explanation. Did he not know how much I needed my family? "Daddy, this family is the only thing that's keeping me going right now. I will always need you and Mom. Maybe not everyday. Maybe not every moment. But don't think for a second I could ever live without you and Mom or Abel for that matter." A single tear slipped from my eye only too be caught by my fathers thumb.

 He grabbed my head and pulled it towards his lips. He kissed my forehead as I wrapped my arms around his stomach. "Believe it or not baby girl. . .but I will always need you in my life. I don't know what would happen if I lost you. Your Mom and your brother mean the world too me baby, but you are my one and only. You are my everything." 

I needed to hear that. I needed to hear how much my father loved me because at the end of the day, there's no stronger bond than a father and daughter. I knew at this moment, nothing else mattered.  No matter what was thrown at me or my family, we'd go down fighting; as a family. 

"I love you, Daddy." 

"I love you too, Bug."