My therapist. ~irwin~

16. Mother trouble.

I plop onto my sofa that has just been placed in my new living room and sigh. I'm so exhausted, I forgot what its like moving.

I wonder what this area has for me, I wonder who my new neighbors are. Grabbing the diary I go through some page's to start writing.

~6th February~

I'm finally in my new home and its already coming together. I like the brick wall in the living room, I think it will go nice with the tv. The cream sofa and black arm chair seem to blend in.

I feel slightly happy with my choice of place, The garden out back is pretty nice. The grass is quite long but I'll cut in when it stops raining.

I love my new place, all I need now is a bit of company, maybe I'll buy a cat or dog.

I wish you could see it, I think you would like it, not sure what your style or what your into but I think this place is beautiful for its size.

oh Jane would have loved it! Not so much the brick wall but the house itself.

I need to unpack.

Amelia.

...

I climb into my half made bed and sigh. I think I could sleep for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow is another big day, I need to paint the kitchen and clean the bathroom and decide where all my furniture will be.

And call mum. My subconscious reminds me. I roll my eyes thinking that my mum doesn't need to be called but she doesn't know I moved house. I meh the subject and roll over closing my eyes to dream about stuff that will never happen.

...

I'm woken by loud banging and I think it may be the builders starting on the kitchen but I hear my name shouted from down stairs.

I yawn rolling my eyes and grabbing my coat to put over my thin material pyjamas. The banging carries on and I feel like shooting someone at this point, or even myself.

-''I'm coming!'' I shout walking down the stairs. When I reach the bottom the banging has stopped and I feel more relaxed.

I go to open the door but first I unlock it. Pulling the stiff thing, my mothers face appears and looking rather angry.

-''Who do you think you are?'' she burst into my home pushing me out of her way. -''You moved house without telling me!'' she says anger starting to fill me. -''When were you planning on telling me?'' she yells.

-''Okay, first calm down. Second don't yell at me, I'm not fifteen anymore.'' I say as calm as ever.

-''You don't see what you have done?'' she carries on yelling and muttering whatever under her breath. -''You cant just move house without telling me!'' she throws her hands in the air. -''I came to you this morning, leaving you voice messages last night on house phone and your phone and you didn't answer which made me anxious and worried!'' she starts pacing back and forth .

-''Mum!'' I shout making her stop and look at me. -''I am if you haven't noticed an adult, I was going to call you today. You don't need to be informed about my life 24/7.'' I groan.

-''Well apparently I do!'' She says putting her hands on her waist. -''Apparently you cant seem to act like a grown up because no longer than a month ago, you tried to kill yourself!'' She cries. Great trying to get me to look like I'm the bad person here.

-''I don't care if you don't think I act like I'm an adult or not.'' I say. -'' I don't need you controlling my life anymore, I know what I'm doing.'' I meet her gaze.

-''Is that what you thought when you took those pills?'' She asks softly.

-''Don't! you don't know how I was feeling! you don't know whats it like to lose someone you love, you know what its like to lose your best friend because you and dad but you didn't care!'' I yell. -''while Dad was depressed, you were out with your boyfriends! I lost both of my best friends.'' I plop on the couch covering my face with my hands.

-''your right.'' she says. -''I do know what its like to lose your best friend.'' she says quietly. -''I hate myself for how I was, for how I acted with him, I loved your father. He was my best friend, I could have given up on you but you know what? I didnt because..'' She stares into the distance when I lift my head to look at her. -''Because I had you, I had woken up and realized that I had to take care of you.'' She breaths in and out.

-''But you still went out.'' I say.

-''Yes, I know. And that's why I'm controlling your life!'' She says. -''Because you are a grown up and I don't want you to waste away your life trying to get over a girl that was selfish and killed herself.'' She pauses looking at me.

-''You will no longer talk about her like that!'' I say calmly. -''You will no longer control my life and you are no longer welcome in this house.'' I stand up walking off to my bedroom.

-''Lia, get back here now! you cant do this to me. After everything I've done for you!'' She yells.

I grab my bag and phone, first I put on some jeans and grab my boots. I walk down the stairs grabbing my keys in the living room where my mum is still standing looking out of the window. Walking down the alley to my car that is parked across the street, I get in starting the engine. I look back at my house and sigh seeing my mother.

I drive as fast as I can down the road.