My therapist. ~irwin~

17. Irwin.

I get in the car and start driving down to the super market.

Its been 3 days and Ashton hasn't stopped trying to contact me. I just don't understand why he wont just leave it, he can just move in with his life and his job, its not like there were chemistry between us anyway.

I sigh trying to find a parking space and curse under my breath when I find one but too far away from the supermarket.

I sit waiting in the car for the rain to ease off but it doesnt. I open the door getting out, pulling my coat over my head, I start walking real fast to the entrance.

I curse again for almost falling on my face and when I reach the entrance I feel like this must not be my lucky day. Grabbing a basket, I walk down the frozen section and search for pizza's. Looking at the pizza's I go to grab my favorite, pizza margarita. Someones hand grabs the box too which makes me let go and so does it for the other person.

Bending down to get the pizza, I look at the person who is bending down infront of me to pick it up too. I almost fall backwards when I see Ashtons face.

I stand up real quick and grab my basket, putting a different pizza in it, I start walking off.

-''Lia! Wait!'' I hear his heavy boots I noticed he was wearing and that looked extremely hot on him get closer to me. -''Lia, you cant ignore me forever.'' He says.

I stop walking and turn around. -''What do you want, Ashton?'' I ask.

-''You cant block me out of your life.'' He meets my gaze, he looks hurt.

-''Looks like I already have.'' I say without thinking and turn around to walk away.

-''Pizza margarita.'' He says. I turn around frowning.

-''What?'' I look at him just standing there, he points at the pizza box.

-''Your favourite.'' He holds it in his hand and extends it.

-''You keep it.'' I say, keeping it serious.

-''If thats what you want.'' He says holding the pizza box, I nod turning away and walk off to get milk shake and some cereal.

I walk to the cashier and wait for someone to attend me since all cashiers are empty, I wait for a few minutes taping my foot on the floor. Waiting too long, i start losing my patience, Ashton walks over placing his shopping behind mine.

Great just what I need, to be stuck in the shopping line with Mr. Irwin.

-''You would think with so many cashiers, at least one would be open.'' he tries to make conversation but I try to ignore. -''You know, I think my most favorite words I read from your thoughts have healed from the past but you know what? you havent completely.'' he says.

Can't stop, won't stop moving, It's like I got this music in my mind saying, "It's gonna be alright.'' I try ignoring him by playing Taylor swift in my mind.

-''What about Michael? remember him? yeah, your best friend. You need to heal with him what happened.'' he says. 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play, and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, I shake it off, I shake it off.

-''I dont need to heal anything from him, he is the past.'' I say.

-'' okay, but you still havent healed. You still need me, Lia.'' he says and I look at him not meeting his gaze.

-''I dont need you.'' I say looking away at seeing his hurt reaction.

-''fair enough.'' He says. -''But I need you.'' He says and the cashier lady finally comes, its about time.

passing all my food over to me, I shove them in plastic bags and exit, noticing that its not longer pissing down with rain, I start walking to my car. I put the bags in the back and get into the drivers seat.

I pull out of the far away parking space and wonder why there is so many cars in this parking lot when the supermarket is empty.

I drive down the alley and notice Ashton coming out of the doors, he meets my gaze and my heart aches, I pull over and wind down the window.

-''You dont need me, Ash.'' I say honestly. -''You have J-Jas.'' I stutter.

-''You know she is nothing.'' he runs a hand though his hair.

-''I wouldn't say that exactly.'' I drive off not looking back. God I'm so stupid! I cant believe I'm letting Jas get to me.

...

Should I call him? Maybe I should, but maybe he is doing something else. Maybe he doesn't want to hear from me.

I search through my things, groaning and huffing as cant find the stupid letter. I hope I didn't leave it in the other house.

I go through old stuff one more time and find a folder that is labeled as Woodford. Going through it, I find Micheal's letter and sigh sitting on my comfy sofa and taking a few deep breaths before opening it.

Lia,

Our story goes way back in high school, I wish I could explain my feelings but I can not just write them down.

Jane was my first love and maybe she never told you this but she would die for you. She was completely in love with you and you had no idea. Jane tried to tell you but you would always end up talking about our dates.

At 15 you lost your father, Jane and I supported you the whole way and kept you safe. Jane was still madly in love with you no matter how bad you were to her or even me. I still loved how you were back then.

At 16 you lost your virginity with me at that party at Cameron's house. That was the best night of my life because I knew I had fallen in love with not just you but your flaws also.

At 17 Jane told me she was being bullied because someone found out she was gay. I tried to cover for her but the hate towards her got worse. No matter how many times I told her to ignore them she would hide it and pretend she didn't care. You didnt know this because you started dating Alex, it hurt me and most of all Jane but if you were happy, we were too.

At 18 Jane told me she was leaving, she said not to tell, to take care of you. I tried to stop her and convince she could move away but she kept denying how they would judge her anywhere. The black mail was getting worse and she wanted it to stop. So she put an ending to it.

I know that after you have read this, you wont contact me because you will hate me for not stopping her but watching your best friend fall for some jack ass killed her.

You must understand that it was her choice, not mine. I stayed and watched how you just loved him with your everything. It hurt.

Alex told me you had dumped him, I was happy for that matter but he told me how you went mad and was leaving. I soon called your mom and she confirmed it. Broke my heart once again, you broke a lot of hearts, Mia

Hope you forgive me some day because I do love you.

Michael.

I fold the note and bring my hand to my chest. I should have read it then, why was I so stubborn.