How To Unlove Jennie Kim

•4• The call

                                         •Lisa•

"Argh finally home sweet home" I threw myself on the couch, staring blankly at nothing,

Out of nowhere your face appeared in front of me, I didn't even close my eyes yet- I saw your face again

It haunted me again Jen- what can I do to not think of you? I don't think about you no- I think of you.. there is a difference between both sentences, I can stop thinking about you, like how you doing or what are you doing right now but, what I can't stop is thinking  of you... how I love you, how perfect you are, how many times did you smile today, how did the sun dare to bother you, that's my love, how I think of you, oh I almost forgot, and How to unlove you

Do you have any idea how hard is it to love you?

How painful it's to look at you, forcing my heart to stop beating?

How I hold my breath whenever your eyes met mine?

How tired is it to not look at you with the love I have for you?

Of course you don't, cause if you knew you wouldn't do what you are doing to my heart now.

You don't because you are Jennie Kim, how would you know the feeling of loving someone who is out of your league- after all you the one and only Jennie Kim.

I was daydreaming about you as usual when my phone rang, it's rarely cause no body cares about me well, not anymore.

It was dad, I didn't want to answer so I didn't

But then...

My other weakness called...

Mom.

Been always a mommy girl yeah.

"Hello, mother." I wasn't in the mood now, I was in the middle of a heart break, why do they need to be that noisy about me? I had already cut connections year ago.

"Lisa sweetie, how have you been?" Oh how I missed her voice...

"I'm fine mother, why did you call anyway?" Sorry to be that cold, I just can't let my walls down again..

I heard your sighing mother, I swear I did, but my heart can't take another heart break right now.

"I- I just called to beg you to come to my birthday Lisa... and before you refuse just know that I would never be happy without you my child"

Silence all she got, what can I do now? If I go I would be opening another gate of hell...

"Mother... you know..." my voice betrayed me again... I just wish she heard what I said

Now it was my turn to get the silent answer...

"I beg you Lisa... plus your father-"

"Don't!" I swear I didn't intend to sound that harsh

You sighed again, it hurt me again mother

I would never get used to the tone of disappointment in your voice... I'm sorry mother.

"I see... at least wish me a happy birthday " I felt the tears in your tone, I swear I did.

"H-" taking a sharp breath that I breathed out already

"Happy birthday mother..." it used to be mommy, yes, my mommy she was.

"Thank you..." your voice was never lower, sorry for the disappointment mother...

"You... you are welcome" harshing my tone again to end this suffering already  " now if you don't mind, I have a long day tomorrow, bye mother." No love you's anymore, the call used to be full of happiness, sorry mother.

"Bye sweet heart... I love y-"  sorry mother, I just can't bear the word of love anymore...

Closing my eyes, breathing in and out, now I had something else in mind instead of you Jennie, it won't last for long don't worry- besides, I still need to learn-

How to unlove Jennie Kim.

" people say, only fool would fall in love, but when I saw your eyes, baby I couldn't help but to become the world's biggest fool."

                                                                   -R