In Our Nightmares | TordTom

Chapter 18

Tord's POV

It's been at least a week since I hurt Reality. At first, I was trying to avoid her, she was obviously scared of me. I, of course, beat myself up with the fact I lost my only real friend. I tried to keep ignoring her, which was hard for me, but at some point during that week. She slowly started trying to approach me

Which, I always left when she tried. I didn't want to hurt her again. I feared I would. On the last day of this week she was just trying to talk to me. But I still walked away. She did nothing wrong to be treated like this. She did nothing wrong in general. It was me

And when I went for that weekend. I had gotten some news from my Pa. We were going to London in England to go live with my Ma. But we were going someday next week. The first few days on the next week I stopped trying to avoid her. She had talked to me, telling me she still wanted to be friends. I was still hesitant. Still scared. I didn't tell her I was moving

Once the day came. I had no chance to say goodbye

I sighed and looked down feeling guilty. First, I hurt her, and second, I left without saying anything. I have seen her since then, but we eventually found each other on our social media. It was only when I was in middle school. We talked and caught up

I told her about me moving away to London and how I found it here. I talked about Tom, Matt and Edd a lot. I've never seen her in person after I moved. But it was nice to talk to her again. I hummed looking around. It was quiet, like it always was. I silently sat down

I was still guilty about doing that to her. I don't even know if she got scars from that and if she did, which is probably what happened, is the scar still visible? Does she hate me for hurting her? Most likely... But.. Is she still scared of me?

Would she be scared of me seeing how I am now? Seeing the way I look? Would she realize she was friends with an actual monster? Will she leave me to rot..? She might... I wasn't such a great friend. That's why I was different with Tom, Matt and Edd. I learned and tried to be a better friend

I only could do so much

But I did what I could. I always tried to be there for them when they needed me. When they need someone "I only want to be a good friend..." I muttered to myself "Am I a good friend..?" I asked no one in particular. I gulped and hugged myself "I don't deserve friends.. I always hurt everyone..." I muttered almost inaudibly

I stared at the void as I felt my eyes begin to water. I sniffed and tried blinking away the tears. But that didn't really help. I bit my lip as the tears began falling. I'm always fucking crying. And I don't even have any reason to. I'm a crybaby

I looked up at I felt arms wrap around me "Who-" I stopped when I looked at the arms, there were blue sleeves over them "Tom?" I ask

He nuzzled the back of my neck hugging me "It's ok Tord" Tom said softly

I hug his arms as more tears fell. I was always crying. But it was either because of them. Or for them. I whimpered and turned around hugging Tom tightly "I hate this.." I muttered

Tom rubbed my back softly "You'll wake up Tord. I know you will. I believe in you" Tom said softly

"How are you sure Tom..? I might never wake up if anything..." I muttered

"Don't give up yet Tord. We are here for you this time. We'll be there. We'll wait" Tom said "But we can only do so much. I- We'll do what we can. But you'll have to do the rest Tord" Tom said

"But.. How?"

Tom sighed "I'm sorry but I don't know. You'll need to figure it out on your own" Tom said

I looked up as the scene started to change. Tom let me go as he looked over as well

No! Why now?

I gripped my arm nervously. I was wondering what it was gonna be this time.. The scene fully appeared. It seemed to be a glitchy once again. So I knew it wasn't real. But I wondered what it was gonna be nonetheless

"Why are we always fighting?" I asked Tom

"Because we hate eachother" Tom replied blandly

"Why?" I ask "It all started in highschool. Where you, started being an asshole to me for no reason" I said. Tom looked at me but he was silent "We were such good friends back then. What happened to make you hate me? What happened to make two best friends become enemies?" I ask

"Things don't always last"

"Well what if I wanted it to last?" I said

"Well it didn't"

"It wasn't my choice. But if it was, we would still be friend" I said causing Tom to look at me "Probably not the best friend there is. But we would at least be better than this" I said

"I think we're fine like this" Tom said crossing his arms

"Well we're not! I don't want to be like this!" I said

"I don't want to be your friend"

"Well maybe I still fucking do! Maybe I don't hate you! Maybe I don't fucking like this. Maybe, just maybe, I want everything to go back to the way it was!" I yelled as my eyes began getting glossy with tears "Maybe I want the old you.." I whispered my voice breaking slightly

Tom seemed surprised from my sudden outburst "What are you talking about..?"

I growled as tears began falling "I hate the way we are today. I hate the way we are now! But you can't even see what you're doing to me!" I practically yet

Tom seemed a bit hesitant to ask but he did "What am I doing to you..?"

"You make me feel things I don't want to" I said "You bring me a happiness I don't ask for. Even if you hate me"

Tom looked confused on what I meant "What?"

I growled, I could already feel my heart breaking "I fucking love you ok!?" I yelled "Ever since we met. I could never get you off my damn mind. And ever since you started hating me it's slowly breaking me apart. I know I'll never have a chance with you. But for fuck sakes, don't put me through hell!"