Gray (Haikyuu One-shots)

Lose You (OsaSuna)

Day 3 of Haikyuu Angst 2020
Tier 1, 2, and 3: Photographs, Defeat, and "I can't lose you too."

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Being married to a Miya was never going to be easy. Osamu knew that ever since he fell in love with Miya Osamu and when the soldier climbed the ranks as a dai-gensui (grand marshal) along with his brother Miya Atsumu, he asked Suna if he was willing to become a Miya, even if it means having to fear for Osamu's life daily. Truth be told, Suna was scared, but the time Osamu gave him to think just made him understood that he loves Osamu so much that letting go of him would be more painful than the consequences he has to deal with once he changes his name to Miya Rintarou.

Rintarou had been married to Osamu for five years, and when his husband told him that marrying him would mean having to fear for Osamu's life daily, he meant it. Rintarou could never get used to sending Osamu off to war, and he never will be. So, whenever Osamu would come home, Rinatrou would always take his camera and snap a photo of his husband. Osamu never smiled in any of the photos Rintarou took, because who would be happy coming home from war?

Rintarou was silently listening to the radio as he cooks his dinner. Osamu was sent to fight another was a month ago, and Rintarou was expecting an announcement of their arrival by tomorrow. He had his full attention on the radio as he waits for the time when Osamu would come home, but Rintarou froze after hearing the news.

"The Japanese soldiers are expected to arrive home early after suffering a miserable defeat from the Chinese Military. Sources claim that one of the Miya's had lost their lives during the battle, and for the first time since the twins had led the Japanese armies, they have tasted bitter defeat."

Rintarou gulped, and he started feeling, his heart was racing, and he couldn't stop himself from thinking of Osamu's dead body. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath before going to their room to read all the letters Osamu had sent him during the past days. Rintarou developed a habit of reading Osamu's letters whenever he felt lonely. The letters stashed in a small box kept underneath their bed had always brought a smile to Rintarou's face. But after hearing the news, the letters didn't bring him joy, because as he reads through the recent ones, he noticed a change in the way Osamu writes to him.

In Osamu's old letters, he would mention how the battle and how they won every single time. He would also write about the banters and arguments he had with his twin or how he would train in preparation for battle. Most of the letters contained stories of their battles, training, and wins. But the letters he received that month contained Osamu's emotions. The soldier would always write how he felt about Rintarou. He wrote how much he loves him, misses him, and wants to be at home instead of on the battlefield. Before the news, Rintarou thought that Osamu was just sappy because this was the longest time he spent deployed. But after hearing that they lost the battle, Rintarou suddenly felt like the letters were Osamu's way of saying goodbye.

The next day came, and Rintarou didn't have the heart to visit the military base. He was too much of a coward to go. He wanted Osamu to come home and complain about why Rintarou didn't come to meet him. But when nighttime came, and Osamu never came home, Rintarou decided to go to the military base despite his fears.

Rintarou arrived at the base, and after a few minutes spent on verification for security purposes, he was allowed to enter and was guided to the Miya's office. Rintarou felt his heart racing when he knocked on the door. His palms were sweaty, and his heart was beating erratically as he listens to the approaching footsteps. The door opened, and Rintarou couldn't explain the relief he felt when he saw Osamu.