Gray (Haikyuu One-shots)

Hold On: Bonus Chapter (Bitter Regrets)

TRIGGER WARNING: Physical Abuse, please don't proceed if you're uncomfortable or triggered by the topic.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch, his eyes locked on the clock in front of him. He clicks his tongue and taps his foot on the floor as he waits for the door to open. He remembers telling Tooru not to go out because he wanted to surprise him. He was about to apologize for acting out during their argument the other day. But instead of surprising Tooru with a bouquet of flowers, a cake, and an apology, he ends up surprising Tooru with a punch the moment he heard the door creak open and close.

"What did I tell you, Tooru?" Iwaizumi asks as he stares down at Tooru. He can see the blood on Tooru's lips, he wanted to wipe it away with his thumb, but his anger was greater than the urge to care for him. So, he stood there and stared down at him.

"I shouldn't go out," Tooru answers despite the throbbing on his cheek. Iwaizumi can see the evident pain and fear in Tooru's eyes. Iwaizumi grits his teeth, he knew, and yet he still went out. Tooru wasn't disobedient. He always obeyed Iwaizumi without a word. He's been doing so well during the past months. So, it made him wonder what could make Tooru sneak behind his back.

Iwaizumi's hand twitch as one person came into his mind, and his hand moved to slap Tooru before he could ask Tooru for confirmation. Iwaizumi crouches down to level with Tooru a little. He wanted to see Tooru's face when he answers the question, "you knew, but you still went out, tell me, who did you meet up this time?"

Tooru avoided his gaze and licked his lips, making Iwaizumi scoff. He didn't need to hear the answer to confirm his suspicions. Tooru's mannerisms were enough to confirm it, "Miya, of course, you met up with Miya Atsumu," he says bitterly as he stands up.

Jealousy starts to rise in Iwaizumi's chest. Tooru was aware of it, he knew Iwaizumi was jealous of Atsumu, but he still went out and disobeyed Iwaizumi for him. Tooru had always been prepared to do anything for Atsumu, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but feel betrayed. He was the one who was standing beside Tooru ever since they were born. He's the one dating Tooru, but whenever he puts Atsumu before him, it feels like he's a third wheel, a second male lead who was given a taste of what it's like to be loved by Oikawa Tooru before he falls for the male lead.

Iwaizumi clenches his jaw as his head starts to be clouded by thoughts of what Tooru and Atsumu could've done together. He can feel his blood boiling, and he ends up mindlessly kicking Tooru, "I'm sorry, Hajime, I'll stay here, I promise, please, stop. It hurts,"

Tooru's voice snaps Iwaizumi out of his trance. He looks at Tooru and sees him crying as he coughs out blood. Iwaizumi's promise to Tooru flashes in his head, "I won't make you cry, I promise,"

Iwaizumi scoffs, 'why did he have to remember that promise now?'

But along with his promise came Tooru's response to it, "and I promise to love you. I'll be here for you no matter what happens,"

Lies.

Iwaizumi was about to feel sorry for what he's doing to Tooru after remembering his promise. He was about to stop, but the more memories come back to him, the more aggrieved he became. He remembers when Tooru decided to ditch their first anniversary together when Atsumu called him, crying because he fractured his foot. Iwaizumi wasn't mad then, just upset that his preparations were wasted. But the more Tooru prioritized Atsumu over him, the uglier his emotions became. Iwaizumi tried to stop it, he did, but maybe he shouldn't have. If he didn't, maybe things wouldn't have turned this way. Maybe he wouldn't have exploded. But all those don't matter anymore because Iwaizumi feels nothing but the mixture of rage and envy.

"If only you were a good boy and listened to me, then this wouldn't be happening to you. It's your fault, Oikawa. Everything that's happening to you is your fault, not mine," That's right, it's Tooru's fault. It's was him that made Iwaizumi that way. If only he paid more attention to him, if only he only looked at him, if only he showed him how much he loved him, if only he listened to him, if only he never approached Atsumu, then maybe they could've been fine now.