Gray (Haikyuu One-shots)

Drifting (SemiShira)

Day 7 of Haikyuu Angst Week 2020Tier 1: Goodbyes

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Shirabu and Semi thought they would be happy together, especially when they were still in Shiratorizawa. Their years in Shiratorizawa was full of fun, arguments, bantering, celebrations, and promises. By the time Semi's graduation arrived, they believed that saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do. So, instead of saying goodbye, they settled with saying, see you later because goodbye made them feel like that's where they end, that they're never going to see each other again. But adulting proved that no matter how happy they were, life will always show you that the happiness they once had isn't forever.

Semi was standing outside Shirabu's apartment; his guitar tightly clutched in one hand while the other was holding their favorite food, as he waits for his boyfriend to come out. He had red puffy eyes, and anyone who saw him could tell that he was a crying mess just a few moments ago. He gulped and forced a smile when Shirabu opened the door. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend to envelope him into a hug, placing a quick kiss on his boyfriend's cheek before letting go. Shirabu gave him a week smile, and the bags under his eyes were enough to tell Semi that his boyfriend hasn't slept in a few nights.

"What made you suddenly come here?" Shirabu asked as he sits on his desk. There were piles of papers scattered on the desk, some on the floor, and a few were taped to the wall. Semi pressed his lips into a thin line as he places the food on the kitchen table.

"Eat with me?" Semi asked as he prepares their dinner. He heard Shirabu groan before he answers, "I can't,"

Semi wanted to be considerate, but he won't hide the disappointment he felt when Shirabu refused him. Semi took a deep breath before releasing a sigh. He continued with what he was doing before walking to Shirabu with two bowls of ramen, fried whitebaits, and tekka maki. He placed them on Shirabu's desk, but his boyfriend didn't care to look at him or the dishes he placed on his desk. Semi could feel the irritation bubbling in his chest, but he chose to ignore it. He returned to the kitchen to get some water, and just as he was about to come out, Shirabu yelled.

"Semi! What the hell?! These papers were due tomorrow!" He heard Shirabu yell in anger and frustration. Semi rushed to see what happened and saw that Shirabu was holding his papers up. He could see how glassy his eyes were, and he felt guilty, so he walked to him and was met with a glare.

"Just stay there while I breathe," Shirabu said and stared at the wet paper he was holding.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that bowl was still wet." Semi apologized. Shirabu just shook his head and rolled his eyes as he reaches out for Shirabu, but his hand was slapped away. Semi felt a pang of pain in his chest as he steps back.

"Goddamit! Can't you understand that I need to breathe?!" Shirabu yelled, eyes red and piercing as he looks at Semi, "why did you have to place the bowls on my desk while I was working?! Couldn't you see all the papers?! I already told you I didn't want to eat!"

Semi felt his blood boil. He fisted his hands and pulled Shirabu's collar, which startled the latter, "I was caring for you! You haven't been sleeping for nights on end. I could tell you haven't been eating well because of how thin you are, and yet here you are, an ungrateful little bitch!"

Shirabu's jaw dropped, and he pushed Semi away from him, making his boyfriend let go of him. Shirabu wiped the tears that fell from his eyes because of frustration and retorted, "I didn't ask for your help! You were the one who came here without notice!"

Semi clenched his jaw as he tried to calm himself down, "At least I was trying to be a good boyfriend, unlike you," He could see the surprise in Shirabu's face before it turned into offended and angered.

Shirabu took a deep breath as he runs his hand through his hair, a small scoff filling the silence before Shirabu spoke, "I thought you were fine with us growing a little distant?"

Semi nodded. He was; they talked about it when they felt like things were changing. They could feel themselves drifting away from each other, and they decided to talk it out through the phone when they both had their free time. The lessened interactions started when Shirabu entered his third year of medical school, and Semi started getting more gigs. And the more time they spent apart, the further they drifted away, the more arguments they had, and their dates suddenly became forced and awkward.

"I was, but being fine with it didn't mean we wouldn't talk to each other for a month," Semi admitted, he missed Shirabu, but the frustration from having his demo rejected and the scolding he got from Shirabu just made him explode. "All I wanted was for us to spend one night together after not talking for a month. I missed you so badly, and I wanted to talk to you to release the frustration I felt from having my demo released, but you didn't ask me how I was doing. I came here with blood-shot and puffy eyes, but you didn't even ask why,"

Semi could hear in his voice that he was tired, and he didn't even realize it, not until now. Shirabu sighed and massaged his temple before looking at Semi.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't give you the support you need," Semi could tell that Shirabu was tired as well, and he could tell where this conversation was going. So, he took a deep breath and decided to be the one to say it.

"Let's end it, then," Semi whispered, and Shirabu nodded. They didn't know what to do after that, neither felt sad nor angry. They just felt empty and tired. They stared at each other before Semi decided to take his guitar and turn his back to leave, and as he opens the door, Semi said the words they've always avoided, "Goodbye,"

They always thought goodbyes were difficult, but now that the word had been spoken, they realized how easy it was to say, "Goodbye," Shirabu whispered as he watches the door close.