Alex POV:
“Stop saying it is your fault sweetheart, it is not your fault.” He said to me.
I was dreaming and I knew it and I didn’t want to wake up.
“I can’t, I feel like it is. If I would have just stayed at the party, you would still be here with me.” I said almost in tears.
“Honey listen to me, if I didn’t go away you would not have met Luke or any of the other guys and who knows, you could have gotten hurt at that party.” He said to me.
“I don’t care. Roman is in the hospital and mum is gone and so are you.” I said with tears falling down my cheeks. I just missed him so much and I couldn’t bear to see him gone again.
He wiped away my tears and said “It is not your fault so stop blaming yourself, oh and you are beautiful my Cat Woman.” He said.
I hate when he said that to me, but it was nice to hear it again “I love you daddy.” I said giving him a hug.
“I love you too sweetheart.”
I snapped my eyes open and I could still hear his voice in my head ‘I love you too sweetheart’ God I missed you him so much.
When I went to get up I realized someone was next to me. When I turned around I saw Luke sleeping there next to me. ‘He didn’t leave me’ I thought to myself. I smiled as I heard a knock on my door.
“Hey, you up?” I heard Melody say as she popped her head in. I looked over at the clock and saw it was 5 at night.
When she saw I was up, she came in careful not to wake Luke up. Melody was wearing yoga pants and a plain V-neck shirt. She was beautiful, she had blue eyes like my mom did and dark curly hair like mine, only shorter. People said we have the same smile but I thought hers was better than mine. She sat down on my bed in front of me carefully so she didn’t wake up Luke who by the way was sleeping like a baby. He was so adorable when he slept. Then I noticed he didn’t even have a shirt on and I blushed. ‘He slept in my bed with no shirt on, yay!’ I thought to myself. When I looked back at Melody she was smiling at me.
“How did you sleep?” she asked.
“Okay, I had a dream that dad and I were talking.” I said to her and she looked a little sad, maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
“What did he say?” She asked looking a little upset still.
“That it is not my fault and I need to stop blaming myself for what happened.” I told her and she nodded.
“Well do you believe him?” she asked looking at me intently.
“I don’t know, I still think that if I didn’t ask him to come get me he would not have died. But he said to me that if all this did not happen I would have not met Luke and the other guys, which might be true but maybe it isn’t.” I said to her looking over at Luke then back to her. She looked upset with me, I hated it when she gave me that look.
“Well yeah, if the accident didn’t happen then you and Dean would not be here and you guys would not have meet Luke and the other guys, who seems very nice by the way.” She said trying to reason with me.
“But if I didn’t call, Dad would be here and Roman would not be as sick.” I said to her making a point, but apparently my point was not made.
“No, Roman would be this sick. This happened with mom also. She was doing fine then bam! Back in the hospital, worse than before, and with dad he wanted to pick you up. You don’t understand Alex, Roman told me about that night before the accident. Did he tell you?” She asked me, I shook my head no and she continued her story, “Roman told me that dad let you go to the party because you were 19 and there was nothing he could do to stop you really. I guess deep down he knew that you would end up calling him and you were going to ask him to pick you up. Well I guess dad waited by the phone until you called. Roman said he would not leave his chair until you called or got home. When you finally called he was so happy after you hung up the phone he jumped up and skipped to the car. Roman decided to go with just because he wanted to go. Alex, he was happy to come pick you up, and with the accident you ended up leaving the party anyways and I bet dad was happy because you eventually got out of there.” Melody explained to me. I had tears in my eyes just imagining my dad sitting in his chair and him coming to get me. I was staring at my hands when I finally spoke up, “I just miss him so much, I just don’t understand why we have to go through all of this.” I croaked as I started crying more. Melody hugged me and said “Well sometimes life isn’t fair, but this is the stuff that makes us stronger. Life is full of tests and this, this is something that all of us have to deal with together, but not by ourselves. This is the stuff that makes us stronger. It turns us into a fighter.” She said as I pulled away from her, wiping away my tears. I smiled at her and gave her a hug. “I miss you.” I told her, and I did. I missed my sister a lot. Even though she could be a total drag, she was still my sister and I missed her.
“I miss you too honey bear.” she said smiling at me.
“Well I made dinner so when you get hungry you can come down and eat. Dean and the other guys are down stairs playing video games. It was pretty funny, they decided to play Just Dance 3 on the Wii. Man, they have some great dance moves.” She said laughing, I was laughing also thinking of Dean playing that, ahh that would be great to see.
I felt movement next to me and I saw Luke stretching and turning over as he fell back asleep. He was so dang hot. My goodness.
“Alright, well I am going to go back downstairs. I will see you in a little.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left. As I laid back down I felt Luke put his arm around my body and pull me closer. I turned over to see him smiling at me and I smiled back.
“I thought you fell back asleep.” I said brushing my hand through his hair.
“Nope” He said smiling at me, then his face fell as he watched me “Are you okay?” He asked me, you could tell he was a little nervous to ask considering what had happened.
I had to think about it for a second. I was but I wasn’t. I was defiantly better than before. “Yeah, at least I am better than from before.” I answered, and then I realized that him and all the other guys saw me go into a panic attack and how emotional I was. I felt so embarrassed after I realized that I started playing with my hands and I bit my lip.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, when I looked up at him he looked concerned.
“Look I am sorry you had to see tha-“ Before I could finish, Luke had cut me off.
“Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to apologize for. You are having a hard time and you are not exactly talking about it, so that is your body’s way of letting it all out.” He said understanding the situation somehow and I was looking at him and him at me.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked. I got scared, what did he want to ask me? All I could do was shake my head yes, not trusting my voice at all.
“What caused your attack?” He asked carefully. I just looked at him, part of me didn’t want to answer but I knew I might feel better if I did.
“I saw a father and a daughter at the gym, and I saw him leave and I got angry. I thought how could he just leave her? Why didn’t he want to stay with her? I guess I was a lot more upset than I thought.” I said looking down at my hands and I realized at some point while I was describing why I got an attack he grabbed my hands. I looked up at him and he was just staring at me, I didn’t understand. He didn’t run away, he didn’t get scared or avoided what happened. He accepted it, he accepted me.
“I am sorry Alex, for everything that has happened. It if it means anything, I think you are amazing and beautiful and none of this if your fault.”
I couldn’t believe what just came out of his mouth. No one has ever said that to me, ever. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Then I did something I have never done before to someone, or at least someone I liked.
I kissed him. Yup, Alexandria Cobalt kissed Luke Brooks, one of the hottest guys she has ever known and guess what, he kissed her right back.
The kiss was slow, passionate, and well amazing. You know how people say when you kiss someone and there are sparks? Yeah well it was more like explosions going off. His one hand went to the small of my back and his other to my neck, pushing me closer. My hands were tangled in his hair, I gave a little tug and he seemed to like that. At some point I ended up on top of him. What was I doing? I finally pulled away and he gave me a little smile and I bit my lip. He knew I wasn’t ready for this, not yet. I got off of him and he still had his hand on the small of my back and I felt bad. I felt like I just totally lead him on and I disappointed him. He could tell because then he got close to me and said “It’s okay babe, I understand.” The way he said it sent shivers down my back and I bit my lip.
“You know you are so sexy when you bite your lip, it drives me nuts.” He said seductively into my ear, it sent shivers down my back again and made my insides just melt.
We finally got out of my bed and Luke threw his shirt on and I changed in my bathroom. When I came out his eye widened seeing that I was in yoga pants and a PINK tank top. He pulled me into him and gave me a kiss before I followed him downstairs hand in hand.
