Alex POV:
“Hey, are you okay?” I heard Dean ask. I was standing outside for about 10 minutes. I heard the guys leave and then Dean came out. It was dark out and I was staring up at the stars. It was a chilly night and I was still in my trackies and t-shirt. I had been crying which made it worse, my body was shaking because I was cold, crying, and angry.
“Yeah, I am fine.” I croaked out, even though I was far from fine.
“No you aren’t, come on. Talk to me.” He said walking over to me, looking up at the stars.
“No” I said, I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to be left alone.
“Are you mad because I got mad?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“What do you think Dean? Of course I am.” I spat at him, I was getting furious at him, again.
“I am sorry Alex. I walk in and he has his arms around you, I didn’t know what to think or say or do. I just got angry. You are still my little sister in my eyes.” Dean said trying to reason with me. I was glaring at him by then.
“I am not your little sister Dean, I am your twin. Just because you are 2 minutes older than me doesn’t mean you are my older brother. We are still the same age, I can take care of myself Dean. I am not a little girl who needs to be pushed on the swing, or needs to be tucked in at night. I just need my brother. Okay.” I spat at him. I was getting so angry I started crying again. He took me into his arms then and he rubbed my back trying to sooth me.
I realized then that I hadn’t really cried since last week during my panic attack, and I felt like my tears were all my feelings coming out. I wasn’t mad at Dean anymore, I was just so upset with everything that was going on. I missed my dad and my mum and Roman. I just wanted them all back here, so we could all be back together again.
I finally wrapped my arms around Dean and I cried for about 15 minutes. We just stood there. He finally sat us down and I had my head on his shoulder. Silent tears still spilled from my eyes every now and then. We both were just looking up at the stars. That was my favorite thing to do when I was upset. I just felt so at peace looking up at them, they were just so beautiful. When I was younger I believed that when you died you became a star and that is why there are so many and part of me still believes that.
“Do you think they are up there?” I asked Dean. He looked down at me confused.
“You mean in the stars?”
“Yeah, do you think they are stars?”
He looked up at the stars again. “I would like to think so.” He said quietly.
I smiled to myself at that answer.
After a little bit, we finally went inside and we both went to are rooms. I got into my Pjs and rolled in my bed. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a knock on my door.
“Come in.” I said. Dean opened the door.
“Just letting you know that I am going to the gym with the guys in the morning. I would like it if you came.” He said. He stood at my door in his pj bottoms and a tank top.
“I think I am going to stay home. I don’t think I will have the energy to go.” I said as I turned my back to him. I was hoping that was the end of the discussion, but I guess it wasn’t. I felt him crawl into my bed. I turned over to see him next to me. He was pouting and giving me puppy dog eyes.
“Please come, you will feel better if you come.” He begged. I looked at him and I knew that I wouldn’t want to go and he knew it to but he was still going to beg until I said yes.
