“Melody?” I yelled as I walked in the front door. She walked out of the kitchen and she looked like a wreck. Her hair was in a messy bun, her make-up was smeared down her face and she was still in her work clothes. We stood there looking at each other, while I couldn’t feel a thing she felt everything. “Why did they have to go?” she croaked out, I saw her fall to the floor as another sob racked through her body. I ran over to her and got down on the floor and pulled her into me. She cried and cried while I sat there holding her still not able to feel anything. It was like someone took my emotions away from me and I became a robot.
Eventually we moved from the floor to the couch, Melody was still crying and I still felt nothing. I thought I should at least feel something but I didn’t. I just felt empty, like everything was taken out of me and I had to go find it again.
My thought was interrupted by a knock on the door, I looked over to Melody who was now asleep on my shoulder. ‘How long have I been sitting here?’ I carefully got up laying her on the couch and went to the door. When I opened it I was greeted by 2 smiling boys and one had roses in his hands. My heart let me feel something and it was a little warmth, but then it disappeared. “Hey Luke and Skip.” I said letting them in, Luke turned around quickly, making me jump. He handed me the roses and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you” I whispered trying to give him a warm smile then quickly turning around walking into kitchen and I heard them right behind me. When I got to the kitchen I got out a vase, put water in it then the put the roses in and walked over to the table and set the vase there. I looked up to see the deck in front of me and I looked out onto it. I can still remember when Dean and I were standing out there and I asked him if mum and dad where in the stars. I wanted to turn around and go back to Melody but my feet wouldn’t let me. I ended up on the deck looking up at the sky, it wasn’t night time yet so all I saw was the blue sky. I wanted to see the stars, I needed to see the stars. I needed to see them, make sure they were there with them. I kept looking up hoping by some miracle the stars would appear and I could see all of them up there, but that didn’t happen. So I turned around and started walking inside when I ran into Skip, I wasn’t paying attention and I guess they had been standing a few feet behind me the whole time. I was looking right into Skip’s eyes and it was like I could see his soul. The fear he had, the guilt he held, the pain he felt, but the happiness he still had when he was with the guys, and me. I could see it all and I am pretty sure he saw my soul also. How empty I felt, how there were no feelings at all, and that’s why I can’t even cry. I feel weak, so, so weak. I saw he was going to pull me in for a hug and I backed away. I don’t know why I did but I felt like I had to. I could tell I caught him off guard because he stood there with his arms out a bit and a look of confusion pained across his face. I looked over to Luke who had the same look on his face. I couldn’t take the stares anymore and I walked right past them into the living room where Melody was still asleep. I heard them behind me and I didn’t want to see them so I ran up to my room and closed the door behind me. I looked around my room and I closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was cry but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t cry.
I changed my clothes and got into bed laying there for what felt like forever. Luke and Skip had both tried to get me to let them in but I didn’t want to see them, I just wanted to be alone. They finally gave up and they went home, at least I thought they did. I had been staring at my clock when I heard my door open, I turned over to see Luke’s head pop in. I turned back towards my clock hoping he would go away, but he didn’t. I heard him walk in and close the door behind him. I didn’t look up at him, instead I kept staring at my clock hoping he would get the hint and go away, but he didn’t. Instead he brought over my desk chair and put it in front of me. He didn’t say anything when he sat down, he just stared at me with an emotionless face.
I was about to roll over when he said something “You know, just because you don’t want me here doesn’t mean I’m going to leave. I told you I am never going to leave you and this is me keeping my promise.” He had the most caring tone in his voice and he moved a bit closer to me when he finished his last statement. Chills ran down my spine as I took in his words. He was so close to me I could feel his hot breath on my skin, and I couldn’t stand looking at him. He was just too perfect and I was, well I was just me. I started to turnover again but Luke grabbed my arm stopping me from turning over, I had my face turned the other way but my body was still facing him. His grip didn’t loosen up and I didn’t turn my head back towards him.
