shifted

chapter 71

i sit there awaiting his answer. my palms begin to sweat and my breathing intensifies.

"you will not be able to come back to this reality, no."

i feel a warm tear slowly falls down my cheek.

"why- why?" i stammer, trying my best to get words out. im just in so much shock.

"it was never safe for a muggle to come to this reality. it's better for you to not come back."

"but i can preform magic." i defend myself, quickly wiping away the tear so there was nothing more than a wet spot left on my cheek.

the wanting to go back to my home, to my former reality is slowly vanishing. i don't know what i want anymore.

i guess i never really did.

"i know, but it wasn't given to you. it wasn't natural. when you go home, you won't have those powers anymore." snape explains, clasping his hands together.

"i- i know. i know that," i say while running a shaky hand through my hair, "i just thought-"

"it's not going to be safe. we can't risk it."

"but- but you can't force me to leave." i whisper, all of the sudden getting more and more defensive. i didn't want to show him how much of me is indecisive about this decision but it's getting hard to keep it hidden.

i do know i shouldn't be acting like this. i should be happy. happy that i can be safe and back in my safe home- back to my safe life. but im not.

"we know that. but you must, before the war. before it gets any worse."

"the war? there's going to be a war?" i ask in utter disbelief.

he pushes the vial towards my direction, ignoring my question, "one day."

another tear falls down my face as i take the vial and slip it into my pocket. before i leave i give him once last glance. i look at him with sorrow. i want him to understand why im hesitant to leave, but i don't think he ever will fully understand.

"you may leave now, narcissa will escort you back to your room." snape says, ushering me to the door.

i stand up, my legs wobble a bit as i do. it's because im scared.

"why is she helping me?" i blurt out, before exiting.

he looks up at me, a blank expression rests on his face, "she cares."

i nod and form my lips into a small smile, "thank you."

"you are welcome y/n." he responds and nods his head once.

i feel as though i should definitely thank him. he spent his time working on something for me, without me even asking. just so i could go home to my family. i wish i could thank dumbledore.

as soon as i leave the room a hand grabs my arm and starts pulling me away. my heart stops for a second but then i realize it's narcissa.

"thank you for doing this- you know? i know it must be hard with your- i know it must probably be hard on you." i refrain myself from talking about her husband. i don't think it's my place.

she stops for a second, nodding quickly before staring to walk again.

i can tell she's probably nervous. i mean we are in her house, sneaking around like teenagers. and there is probably death eaters swarming through these very halls- maybe even voldemort is here.

before i know it we are at my room. she stands patiently by the door waiting for me to go in.

"thank you again." i say, and with that i walk in, closing the door behind me.