The Girl of The Sun

five

     It's August now and I can't believe how much time has flown by. Today I've been reorganizing the entire pantry in the kitchen. I've been saving a lot of money lately, well just to waste it all at the Homegoods store near by. I put all of ingredients and snacks in baskets and glass jars. Sometimes this home doesn't feel like a home, just a place for a broken family to cause some chaos. I try to make it as comfortable as I can, even if I have to paint over it. At about 2:00 in the afternoon, I head down to Raf's to help him paint his room back to white. I tie my hair back in my favorite hair scarf and wear my lucky overalls. When I get there, Raf was frustrated because he couldn't open up the paint can. I can open just about everything, even the really tough pickle jars. I peel the top off and it splatters on Raf. "Oh my God, I am so sorry, let me help you, or I could just do your laundry after if that makes up for it." I try not to laugh while handing him a wet washcloth. Then he takes his hand and scoops up paint and throws it on me, landing right on the side of my arm. We begin to have a paint fight and i'm falling and slipping all over the plastic tarp on the floor. He then picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. "Can I tell you something?" He speaks quietly and I nod my head. "I love you. I don't think I've ever loved someone like this before, and I don't know what to do with myself, but I wanted you to know as soon as I felt it." I couldn't even speak. Not because I didn't feel the same way but because I did, and I was nervous to tell him I loved him before. "I love you too, but I was nervous to tell you because I wasn't sure if you felt that way." We press our lips together, our kisses become deeper.

That was technically my first time, I never told Raf that and I never asked, because I knew it wasn't his. But that didn't change the fact that I really did love him and if anything, I felt like we were more than meant to be. I finally went back home after my day with Raf. As soon as I went inside, my mom was waiting inside for me. She didn't seem so happy. "How come you're home so late? What've you been doing." Her arms crossed. "I helped Raf paint his room and I got tired and took a nap. I didn't want to drive home sleepy." I felt bad for lying on that part but I'm not gonna tell her everything. We started arguing about who does what and who does most around the house. But nothing hurts more when you're giving half your pay check and buying things for the house just to make it feel welcoming. It struck a nerve of mine and I couldn't take it. I started crying. "Why are you crying? You have a lot to be thankful for. I put food on the table, I pay for the roof on over your head, you're almost 18 years old, you don't know what having a hard life is." I paused for a minute. "You know what mom maybe I don't know, but I'm allowed to have feelings. And since paying for the roof over my head is too much for you then you don't have to anymore."

I packed my things and called Raf. His parents let me stay with them for as long as I needed. At the end of August, Poblano hosts the annual fair for Colorado. It lasts a full week. There's live music, carnival rides and games, and food that's 2x bigger than normal. There's different themed days as well which includes cowboy day, parade day and my person favorite, fiesta day. They roast green chilies on that day and that smell is so good and comforting. On fiesta day of the fair, Raf and I decide to go. It's the same every year, girls with hot cheetos and extra large lemonades who want to fight whoever makes eye contact with them, people who shove you. Same rides, same food and same people. Raf and I get wrist bands and ride some rides that are questionable, I may or may have not passed out for 5 seconds on one that had a loose seatbelt. We spent an hour in the petting zoo and in the Agricultural palace which has stands for many businesses in Poblano which give out free stuff. It started to get dark and Raf kept trying to win me a huge plush panda bear. I carried that thing all the way to get a deep fried cheesecake. I know i'm supposed to be plant based, but it's a guilty pleasure. From the corner of my eye, I see a boy with dark hair and a black and green flannel on. It's Alexander. He always wears that flannel. "Al, hey!" I ran up to him. He hugged me tightly. "Hey Fabi, I've missed you. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting, I just have something to tell you." Raf then comes up behind me. "Oh also, this is my boyfriend Rafael. I'm sure you guys have met before." I try not to sound awkward. "Yeah it's been awhile, how are you?" Raf held out his hand to for him to shake, but Alexander ignored it. "Hey bro, is there problem?" things got silent once Raf said that. "That depends, do you want there to be?" Alexander stepped in closer. "What's your deal man? I don't know what I did." Raf threw his hands up and Alex grabs my upper arm. "He's not good for you Fabi, all he's gonna do is use you until he's satisfied and then leave you in the dust." The all of a sudden Raf pushes Alex. "Don't f*cking touch her, if you touch her again it'll be the hard way for you." Some of Alexander's friends and Bryson who happened to be near by quickly pulled them apart after they fought, I couldn't get them to stop on my own. Alexander was on the ground, holding his side. I tried to talk to him but he told me to go away. Raf and I left. I was in tears, my arm had a scrape from tripping on the ground. The car ride home was silent.