The Girl of The Sun

ten

Flashback
Summer of 2006

My home is a big tan colored home, with a brown roof and a large backyard. The other houses have all of their unique looks, but ours stand out. There's a patio terrace on the top and another one downstairs in the back. The downstairs has a pool table that I always run around and right by it is my brothers room where he spends all his time playing halo, I always like to watch.
Right next to it is the playroom. It's full of our toys and I spend most days there. All of the VHS tapes are in there and have seen all of the Land Before Time movies while playing with my polly pockets and barbies.

I sit patiently in the living room waiting for daddy to come home from his work trip. My mommy says he'll be home just in time for dinner. She makes me and James lunch, spaghetti o's. She braids my hair for the day into braided pigtails. Sometimes I don't like when she combs my hair because it hurts and I always end up crying and sometimes she yells at me "do you want there to be a rats nest in your hair?"
I always think it's funny when she says that.

My mom brings me the house phone.
"Tio Antonio wants to talk to you, he says he misses you." She bends down, smiles and hands it to me.

"Hola tío, when are you coming back to visit us?"

"Here in a few weeks mija. Aunty Jeany bought you a hello kitty stuffed animal, California has a lot of hello kitty stuff here."

"Really?! When can we come visit you?!"

"Soon I'll have you, your mom and James to come out here and stay for a while. I promise."

"I miss and love you tío."

"I miss and love you too, always."

I'm in my room, watching Barbie Fairytopia on my pink disney tv. My room is covered in floral pattern pillows and sheets, its neat and tidy and everything makes me feel happy. I hear the front door open and right away I knew it was daddy.

"Daddy!! I missed you so much." I run to my dad and he picks me up. His face looks so young and he has a lot more hair and looks more tanned.

"I missed you princess. What'd you do today? he puts me down and goes to my mom as they share a quick hello kiss. He hugs my brother James and we all eat an early dinner.

In my dad's office he picks me up so I could see myself in the hanging mirror.

"You're hair is so long and pretty, you look like rapunzel."

I pull my pig tails above my head, making a silly face. "You think I do now? Do I look like princess now?" I playfully giggle while making my silly faces again, causing my dad to laugh with me too.

"Even if you look like that, you will always be a princess, my princess. And everyone should treat you like one too."

I fall asleep to blues clues and wake up and it's night time. I sneak into my parents bed, my dad and mom creating the loudest snore storm ever. I get in between them, covering the sheets over my head, I fall asleep soundly, to the sound of both my parents right here and my brother who's downstairs playing video games that I can hear from the vents.
Everything is just right, it could stay like this forever.

Almost.

   

My eyes are opening, slowly. My head is throbbing and my lips feel dry. There's a bright light above me, causing my eyes to water. I wiggle my fingers and toes.

  "What happened?" My voice sounds tired and scratchy.

My mom, asleep on a chair across the room rushes to my side. "Oh my honey, I'm so happy you're awake. You're in the hospital. You were hit by a drunk driver on your way home from work, but nobody else was hurt. You've been asleep for the past two days."

"My head hurts, can I get some water please mom?" My head hurts so bad but that doesn't stop the memory of what just happened to come flooding.

I was driving, I was almost home when the driver turned right into me, causing the car to spin out of control, to flip over. My top 10 worst fears, one of them came true a few days ago. I was stuck upside down, weak enough to at least to attempt to unbuckle my seat belt and get myself out, and that's when I thought I was dying. I couldn't even keep my eyes open, I was praying to God that he give me a second chance, please don't take me away so early. Everything kept getting dark and by the looks of it, I was losing a lot of blood. I could hear people from outside houses rush to my rescue, the fire truck and ambulance sirens becoming closer and closer, and then everything went blank.

I could've died that day, if it weren't for all those people around who helped me, I probably wouldn't be alive right now.

The doctor and some nurses come in to evaluate me and make sure I remember everything.

"Hi sweetheart I'm Dr. Heather Lindsay, how are you feeling?" She shines a small flashlight and puts her finger right in front as I keep my eyes steady.

"My head hurts but that's it."

"Do you remember your name, age, the year, family, friends, loved ones?" The doctor writes down on a clipboard.

"Yes I do." My heart aches for Rafael. He must be worried. I want to get out of here and call him, to run to him and have him hold me. Suddenly, a voice comes from outside the room.

"Where is she? How is she doing is she awake?" Rafael bursts in the doors while a couple nurses try to hold him back.

My eyes start to water and I'm crying so weak. I longed for his touch and his voice, his presence. This car accident frightened me and I was still so tired to even feel all of it just yet.

"It's okay, he's with us." My mom stands up and gives him a firm hug, as she tries not to cry, her eyes tired and puffy. Her dark hair was in a tight low ponytail. The doctors and my mom leave to give me and Raf a chance to talk alone.

" I thought you weren't gonna make it. I saw the pictures of the car and my stomach dropped. I couldn't even sleep at night knowing you were still asleep — God Fabi, I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Raf talks in a quiet voice, trying not to let his cry come out. He kisses my hand that has the hospital band around it.

"I'm happy you're here, you were the first person I thought about. Right when I woke up." My voice becoming more clear as we speak.

"I'm not leaving your side. I'll help you with whatever you need, I promise." He holds my hand and squeezes it

"I love you forever"

"I love you forever."

My dad walks in minutes later. I'm completely shocked in disbelief.

"Dad? Is that you?" He rushes to my side and instantly he breaks down crying. I had never seen him cry since I was little and I felt frozen. I didn't know what to do with myself.

"This happened Fabiana, because I felt like this was a sign to me. A sign to be a better father, to be a better role model and a person. I'm so sorry. I haven't given you respect. I don't appreciate you like I should. The more time passes by, the more I'm losing you and your brother. And I could've lost you — the intense regret I would feel would haunt me. I know i've hurt you. You deserve a dad who lifts you up, who brings out the very best in you and believes in you. I know your capable of amazing things, my daughter. You're probably used to me not keeping my promises, but you have my word on this one. I promise you a million times to be what you deserve."

"I thought you stopped loving me. I haven't felt that you've loved me since I was a little girl. Remember when you used to call me princess and that you promised no one would hurt me." Before I proceed I choke on my words and sob into my hands. My dad hugs me. All of the pain and hurt he caused, broken promises, the abuse, the hurtful words. All while he say in his fancy condo in Denver while My mom, James and I struggled to keep the lights on in our house. I was so angry at him. I wanted to tell him how he ruined my potential, how he ruined my self esteem. But with all that pain, I wanted the dad that actually tried for us when I was little, I wanted my dad, without his money, without his alcohol, without his mental illness. I wanted his true self. Even though he's the person who hurt me the most, I wanted him to hold me.

"No. No never have I stopped loving you. You'll always be my whole world. I will be better for you Fabi. You're the biggest gift i've ever received and no money or relationships could ever replace that."